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Article by Roy Parker
February 13, 2012 1 Comment

Trust Me, It Sucks NOT Being Single on Valentine’s Day

To all you single folks out there this Valentine’s Day, you got it lucky. I would give almost anything to not be in a relationship for this upcoming V-Day. Now, the other 364 days out of the year, I completely love having someone to cozy up to late at night. But trust me, there are... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
February 6, 2012

Survey says 96% of women’s friends “could do so much better”

When polled randomly about their heterosexual lady-friends’ objects of affection, 96% of female students claimed a decisive “she could do so much better than him!” Follow up quotes from those surveyed were illuminating about the reasons why: “I tell her she could do so much better every day,” one freshman says sadly. “In a world... MORE »

Article by USC Staff
January 27, 2012

Weekly Sex: Never Been Kissed

Once a week has never been so satisfying. Weekly Sex, I’m not the only one in this situation, I’ve definitely talked to other people who are the same way, but it’s almost the end of freshman year and I’ve still never kissed anybody. Should I just keep waiting?? I don’t want all the pressure to... MORE »

Article by USC Staff
January 20, 2012

Weekly Sex: The Spark

Once a week has never been so satisfying. Dear Weekly Sex, Ever since getting back from winter break, sex hasn’t really been the same with my partner. I guess since we haven’t been together in a little while, it feels kind of awkward. How can we bring back the spark? - Feeling Off Dear Mr./Miss... MORE »

Article by USC Staff
November 18, 2011

Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Numbers and Waits

Once A Week Never Sounded So Satisfying Weekly Sex,    I found out this girl I’m sort of seeing has slept with, like, a huge number of people. Like now-technically-measured-by-dozens huge. I feel really prudish by comparison. Can I ask if there’s a “normal” number for college guys/girls to have?   Not Like None But... MORE »

Article by apost
October 27, 2011

Olin Stacks Flasher Finds True Love at Jewish Speed Dating

Recently an anonymous male was found running around Olin exposing himself to females and shocking them to the point of tears. CampusBasement investigative reporter Jenna Til-Warts had an exclusive interview with the famous flasher. She pried into the mind of the psychopath in an attempt to figure out what the roots of his problems were. ... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
October 11, 2011

Lonely seniors begin to outsource exhausted dating pools

Many seniors whose sex lives extend beyond movies where Ryan Gosling takes his shirt off (like me, someday) have found themselves running out of people to date. Potential partners in extensive hand-holding/enthusiastic hugging/other things I assume people do in relationships seem to be an endangered species.   “Everyone I could be interested in, I’ve either already been... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
October 1, 2011

USC Week In Review: Oh-Gosh-It’s-October-Already Edition

Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines USC still pushing professors to take advantage of technology in the classroom : Come on, professors. Technology has been making eyes at you all year and is clearly down. Sure, it’s kind of drunk. But so are you. USC attempting to recruit more students from... MORE »