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Breaking News: Lefties Protest Outside Olin
Yesterday, outside Olin Library, Lefties came together to protest against the abundance of righty desks and lack of lefty desks around Cornell’s Campus. With so many famous, successful, lefties, it is disturbing to these students that they are underrepresented. “We used to be persecuted against. There’s a long history of discrimination against our people. My... MORE »
Study Buddy: A Cornell Basement Syndicated Column
Dear guy sitting behind me in Mann who keeps making sighing noises, I REFUSE to turn around and acknowledge you. I don’t care, I won’t turn around and look at you. Others might, but not me. Your sighs are getting louder and closer together like you’re having contractions. I WON’T look back. Eyes on my... MORE »
The Girl With The Oral Fixation
Dear girl with headphones and a severe oral fixation, Can you ever leave your mouth alone? You’re either biting the nails on your left hand, covering your mouth with your palm, or biting the nails on your right hand, as if biting the ones on your left hand simply wasn’t disgusting enough. Seriously, they have... MORE »
Date Party Gets UGLI
Michelangelo had David, Joe Louis had Joe Louis arena, Dave Brandon had the night game, Mary Sue Coleman: has Slutty with a Study Buddy, at the UGLI. This past Saturday, Sorority Iota Delta Epsilon (IDE) held their winter semester formal at the highly relevant Shapiro Undergraduate Library. Sororities have been competing all year long for optimal positioning... MORE »
Communications Student Visits Library for First Time
It was a miraculous day on Ramapo Campus when Brandon Walsh, a Senior Communications Arts Major, visited the library for the first time. “I couldn’t believe how many books were in there,” said Walsh in an interview. “I heard about libraries before, I had one in my elementary school, I guess I never really thought... MORE »
What People Talk About When They Talk About Humanities Majors
On Science I like watching Planet Earth. If all science classes were like Planet Earth, then I would totally be into science. I thought about being pre-med once, because like I’ve just always wanted to be a dermatologist or something. But I realized that the material was going to be too sciencey for me. Like... MORE »
Week in Review: You can run, but you can’t News!
Your second-best source for this week’s Daily Trojan headlines. Latino Empowerment Speakers Series brings a dozen high-ranking politicians and city officials to campus for fireside chats with students. If things get awkward, that’s what the rotation is for, but ideally it will be very romantic. Café 84 to be replaced by “healthier dining hall” this... MORE »
Mann Library Sees Increased Attendance Through Rental of Sex Rooms
In attempt to attract more students to the library and to reduce student stress during finals week, Mann library converted all of its rarely-used study rooms into sex rooms. This initiative was sponsored by Cornell CARES, and proved to be a major hit over the course of study week. “Hardly anybody would ever rent out... MORE »
Transfer Pride: I used to go to Maryland
I used to go to a real school. One where there were tailgates and acid dropping on a Monday at 6pm before Lab and a real Greek Week/Homecoming. Ah yes and one where the Jewish Council students broke it down real hard in the library during finals week. At Cornell we have Club Mann…..at UMD... MORE »