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Article by G-Nonymous
November 2, 2011

Administration Chuckles As Students Beg for a More Efficient CourseEnroll System

Administration was reportedly chuckling today as students across the campus cried out for an easier way to enroll in courses for the following semester than the current CourseEnroll system.   “I fucking woke up at 6:30 AM to make sure I could get in on time, said fuming freshmen Kent Gonzalez. “After 30 minutes of... MORE »

Article by Kevin Slack
December 9, 2010

With Four Loko Ban Date Approaching, Scientists Already Working on Other Ways to Kill Selves

The last day which liquor stores may sell alcoholic energy drink Four Loko in stores is fast approaching. On December 10th, all Four Loko cans remaining on shelves must be disposed of. College students across the state are in a frenzy, buying up case after case of Four Loko, in preparation for Four Loko Prohibition.... MORE »