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Article by carolineoreilly
December 28, 2012

The Story of Syllabus Week

Syllabus Week, known as the “Festival of Natty Lights” to many, will soon be upon us once more. Though widely celebrate by most college students, there are many who have forgotten the true meaning of the weeklong celebration. To remind us why we celebrate Syllabus Week, we have decided to retell the story of how... MORE »

Article by Chris Varney
October 18, 2012

Fraternity refuses to suspend uranium enrichment program despite sanctions

   Another round of negotiations fell through between the Tau Kappa Chi (TKX) Fraternity and the United Nations concerning TKX’s uranium enrichment program Wednesday. This most recent round of negotiations appears to be the last as neither side is willing to make concessions. The fraternity and the UN have been in talks since UN weapons... MORE »

Article by Becca Grumet
October 3, 2012

Come for the donuts, stay for the drunk people

You can get anything from fritters to bagels to breakfast sandwiches to ice cream to any kind of boba-related drink to cereal to cigarettes to vitamin water to iPhone cases to copies of your assignment due in an hour. MORE »

Article by drewthegoose
September 12, 2012

Fraternity Fails to Understand Irony Concerning Communal Beer Plan

A fraternity at the University of Missouri failed Friday to understand the irony behind their communal beer plan. The fraternity, Alpha Sigma Sigma, made a decision Thursday to have every one of their members chip in $10 to buy beer for their tailgate. “We wanted to have enough beer for all of the chicas,” member... MORE »

Article by Jonfen
September 10, 2012

With Parents Away for Weekend, Fraternity Brothers Decide to Throw Party

On Saturday night, brothers of Phi Alpha Mu devised a scheme to throw a house party, while their parents spent the weekend at a resort in Cancun. Despite the parents’ numerous requests to “keep the house clean” and “not open the door for any strangers,” the Phi Alpha Mu brothers admitted over 200 guests into... MORE »

Article by drewthegoose
July 27, 2012

Minority Fraternity Member Awarded Patience Medal

An Asian-American student received the Mizzou Patience Medal Wednesday for his sustained tolerance of his fraternity’s intolerance. The student, James Suzuki, is a member of the Alpha Sigma Sigma fraternity. The junior said that he was honored to be recognized, but understands that medal won’t change a damn thing. “It’s really great being recognized,” he... MORE »

Article by shepbb
May 21, 2012

Fraternities Urge Congress to Make the Word, “Bro,” Illegal

Unbeknownst to many, a national movement has recently been established; hundreds of chapters of some of the most prominent social collegiate fraternities have joined forces for a common cause. Their stated purpose is to “put pressure on the federal government, to end the oppression, stereotypes, bigotry and prejudice reflected by the use of the word,... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
April 14, 2012

Poll shows men wearing formal or business-casual clothes considered “distracting,” “super hot”

The unanimous results of the latest poll of the attracted-to-men community contains one surprising gem: dressed-up dudes are really hot. “I keep having to remind myself not to stare,” says an anonymous junior of the days her business class dresses up for presentations. When asked if she’d maybe be more productive if there were no... MORE »

Article by drewthegoose
April 7, 2012

Companies Looking to Hire Individuals that Wear Expensive Clothing Brands

A recent study conducted by the University of Missouri revealed a new trend in the business world where companies are making employment decisions based on the clothing that applicants wear. The study, conducted over an eighteen-month period, yielded unexpected results for the researchers. “The most important traits for hiring new employees have pretty much remained... MORE »