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Article by Kevin Cardoni
March 19, 2012

Student Looking for Roommates Doesn’t Realize Nobody Wants to Live With Him

Student housing sucks, plain and simple. The one good thing about student housing is getting out of it and living with your buddies. Or, you know, that random family who doesn’t check their basement or attic enough to notice you living there… The only way to get a decent place to live, whether through the... MORE »

Article by Eric Pratt
February 19, 2012

Coma Patient Enraged That Friends Already Have Housing

CB reporters had to provide a steady supply of Kleenex as emotion, tears and tear-snot poured out of sophomore Nick Cataton early this afternoon.  ”Franklin turned to me with this look like he’d forgotten to grab his laundry out of the dryer. “Oh, uh, we already got housing.’ I mean, is that all I am... MORE »

Article by SupermanThatPo
February 14, 2012

Breaking News: Guys and Girls CAN Be Just Friends

The great question of “can guys and girls be just friends?’ is often answered with roaring controversy. Most women say sure, of course they can. Most men say hell mother fucking no, they cannot. Unbalanced emotion, confusion, desperation, horniness, and drunkenness often complicate the issue. As we learned in Sex Ed, guys and girls have... MORE »

Article by Piliour
February 10, 2012

Campus Basement Dean’s List

Check out the latest and greatest from our friends! Whether you’re wondering what kind of shit hungover people say, looking for some awesome party ideas, or trying to validate your choice in music or fast food, this week’s edition of Dean’s List has it all covered! Well, it has all the things I just mentioned,... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
February 6, 2012

Survey says 96% of women’s friends “could do so much better”

When polled randomly about their heterosexual lady-friends’ objects of affection, 96% of female students claimed a decisive “she could do so much better than him!” Follow up quotes from those surveyed were illuminating about the reasons why: “I tell her she could do so much better every day,” one freshman says sadly. “In a world... MORE »

Article by J.D.Basement
January 17, 2012

2 Friends Run Out of Conversation When 3rd Friend Goes to Bathroom

Mahwah, NJ- Awkward silence struck the Village apartments with fury last Thursday when Tom Bishop, friend of Nathan Jones and Brad Owens, excused himself from the living room to use the bathroom. According to Owens, “Dialogue was flowing smoothly. Tom was about to tell us about his night in Hoboken when, all of a sudden,... MORE »

Article by 21Slalom
January 6, 2012

Your High School Friends, Translated (Wash U)

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! After attending three years of college at two different schools, I consider myself a collegiate expert. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “where do you get... MORE »

Article by Max Lehman
December 28, 2011

What Your New Years Plans Say About You (Hofstra)

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! Welcoming in the New Year is a grandiose occasion for many Americans as well as those other people that live in places not as awesome as... MORE »

Article by Piliour
September 25, 2011

No, I Don’t Know Your Friend’s Teammate’s Cousin at ‘Cuse

Dear Everyone I Meet Randomly: I am writing this letter to save you the embarrassment and to save myself from the frustration of having the same conversation with you that I’ve had with countless others before you. If ever you find yourself inclined to pursue this conversation thread, I will henceforth refer you to this... MORE »