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Article by Roy Parker
November 18, 2012

USC Loss to UCLA Undeniable Proof That Californians Don’t Know How to Do Sh*t When It Rains

UCLA’s 38-28 victory over USC this Saturday marked the first time in six years that the Bruins have beaten the Trojans. During the game everyone was quick to point out USC head coach, Lane Kiffin, as the faulty party for USC’s poor performance. But the actual culprit is all the more sinister…   The. Rain.... MORE »

Article by Harris Mayersohn
November 16, 2012

UCLA “Vandalism” Believed to be Work of Banksy

Tension and unease have been running high on the two major college campuses in the Los Angeles area over the course of the past week. In the lead-up to the annually contentious UCLA-USC football game, pranks and insults have grown more vicious than in recent years. In reaction to a rule change preventing the USC... MORE »

Article by Quinn Sosna-Spear
November 14, 2012

UCLA’s Humble Requests of USC Before The Game

As the objective liaison between USC and UCLA, it is my duty to present to USC a list of grievances made by UCLA. They hope that USC fans will take them into serious consideration due to the fact that UCLA is having a really hard time right now. Not only do they suffer debilitating budget... MORE »

Article by Roy Parker
November 5, 2012

10 Ducks That Are Better Than the Oregon Ducks

Think all of us USC Trojans can collectively say, “F*ck the Ducks.” (The asterisk is so my mom doesn’t get mad at me.) Bringing out less than illustrious record to a disappointing 4-3 this season, I found myself really hating all and any duck-ish entities. But I took a moment and realized that even though... MORE »

October 31, 2012

Overbearing Mother Who Attended Parents’ Weekend Still Refusing to Say Who Gave Her a Hickey at the Tailgate

Monica Del Valle, a 46-year-old bank manager from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, became the object of intense scrutiny this past week after her son Danny, a junior studying Economics, noticed a small, asymmetrical bruise on his mother’s neck as she pulled him away from a keg stand. According to initial reports, the jovial atmosphere was disrupted... MORE »

Article by Quinn Sosna-Spear
October 28, 2012

Getting Over USC’s Loss To Arizona

As I watch my loved ones– (I say loved ones, I mean my attractive neighbor who listens to Frank Sinatra and is only gay because we haven’t “met” yet.) –drown themselves in tears and Sangria over today’s loss, I wish to shed some hope on all of those who may be concerned that it won’t... MORE »

Article by Cailin Lowry
October 24, 2012

USC Wildlife: Animal Edition

So you decided to study at USC. I’m thinking that you weren’t seduced to South Central for its vast array of lush flora or rare animals. If you were looking for wildlife beyond the Row on a jungle themed party night (or I guess club hopping in Hollywood), then you probably think four years in... MORE »

Article by carolineoreilly
October 1, 2012

MU Introduces Jersey Chasing as Newest Club Sport

Carefully checking her makeup using the selfie-mode of her iPhone 4s, Mary hides behind a trash can, lying in wait for the moment when Freshmen tight end Jack (whose name has been changed for his own personal safety) leaves his room, at which point she will pop up and accidentally bump into him, thus striking... MORE »

Video by Alex Rosenthal
April 28, 2012

I’m a JIM: A Tribute to Jets Islanders Mets Fans

It’s depressing being a fan of all of New York’s B-Teams. Life is hard when you prefer Hunt’s ketchup over Heinz, Friendster over Facebook, and Hydrox over Oreo. MORE »