tagged Easter »

Article by Roy Parker
April 9, 2012

Jesus Misses Easter, Too Hungover

    After 3 straight days of partying, Jesus Christ, 33, awoke yesterday on April 8 to realize something awful – he had missed Easter.   “I literally remember nothing about the past 3 days,” Jesus said to our crack-investigative team. “And then I woke up yesterday with the worst Dad-damn headache I’ve ever had... MORE »

Article by Nicole G
April 4, 2012

Student reveals he is going home this weekend just to have sex

Watson Hall Quad 407 is buzzing with excitement. Three of its residents are going home this weekend to celebrate an important religious holiday: Drew Collins is headed back for Easter. Ben Schwartz and Mark Allen for Passover. However, its fourth resident, Jack Turney, is going home for a more important reason. “I’m going home to... MORE »

Article by Roy Parker
April 2, 2012

Girls Actually Poop Bunnies and Rainbows, Study Shows

Ever since the dawn of man, the question has been posed – “Do women poop just like men do?” Everybody knows that men poop. Men talk about their poop proudly. But a wave of mysticism has consistently been shrouded around whether or not women poop as well.   A group of researchers here at USC... MORE »