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1. Kim Kardashian gives birth on live television, baby Kimye eats its way out of Kim’s uterus Twilight-style. Kris Jenner promptly sells the newborn’s life rights to E!. 2. Anne Hathaway punches Best Actress winner Jessica Chastain at the Oscars: “I SHAVED MY HEAD FOR THIS.” 3. Leonardo DiCaprio decides to move to daytime television... MORE »
Syllabus Week, known as the “Festival of Natty Lights” to many, will soon be upon us once more. Though widely celebrate by most college students, there are many who have forgotten the true meaning of the weeklong celebration. To remind us why we celebrate Syllabus Week, we have decided to retell the story of how... MORE »
Loganor over at Columbia Basement wrote an article awhile back called “If Disney Princesses Went to College.” And being a boy… I unabashedly loved it and couldn’t stop trying to figure out which princess each staggering co-ed I saw while riding my scooter home was. This then got me scared that I had all... MORE »
After 3 straight days of partying, Jesus Christ, 33, awoke yesterday on April 8 to realize something awful – he had missed Easter. “I literally remember nothing about the past 3 days,” Jesus said to our crack-investigative team. “And then I woke up yesterday with the worst Dad-damn headache I’ve ever had... MORE »
A new business study from the Dyson School at Cornell shows that undergraduates only eat frozen yogurt at two points: when they are drunk or when the sun has completely set. When the Daily Sun article came out, students were confused as to whether or not this article was meant to be written for the... MORE »
We’ve all been there ““ dressed to impress at the best rager on Thursday night. The clock strikes 1am with DPS nowhere in sight; a great song comes on as you chat up the hottie you’ve been meaning to talk to for weeks. Then, out of nowhere? The person you least want to see stumbles... MORE »
Anyone with roommates knows the frustration of the A.M. Bathroom Shuffle. That smelly game of musical chairs where you want to take time for your morning ablutions, but you want to avoid the stench of the morning deuce that preceded yours. Sometimes, you lose this game. Sometimes, you have to brave the wild and lawless... MORE »
When the ladies of Disney were actually alive, a college degree was superfluous. I’m using the word superfluous because, unlike Ariel, I didn’t get married to a prince at 16 and I’m going to need to know big words to get a job. It’s not like I want to be a gold-digging, amphibious ho– but I’m just a little... MORE »