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Top Ten Pop Culture Predictions of 2013
1. Kim Kardashian gives birth on live television, baby Kimye eats its way out of Kim’s uterus Twilight-style. Kris Jenner promptly sells the newborn’s life rights to E!. 2. Anne Hathaway punches Best Actress winner Jessica Chastain at the Oscars: “I SHAVED MY HEAD FOR THIS.” 3. Leonardo DiCaprio decides to move to daytime television... MORE »
The Story of Syllabus Week
Syllabus Week, known as the “Festival of Natty Lights” to many, will soon be upon us once more. Though widely celebrate by most college students, there are many who have forgotten the true meaning of the weeklong celebration. To remind us why we celebrate Syllabus Week, we have decided to retell the story of how... MORE »
Hookup on the Row Leads to Actual Feelings, Greek Community “Shocked”
He was in a pastel pink tank top and Chinos. She was in a white blouse and black short shorts. His wayfarers were falling off his face. She had someone’s underwear on her head. Separately, they were merely fodder for another night on the Row. Together, however, they presented something revolutionary. “It was shocking,” recounted... MORE »
Come for the donuts, stay for the drunk people
You can get anything from fritters to bagels to breakfast sandwiches to ice cream to any kind of boba-related drink to cereal to cigarettes to vitamin water to iPhone cases to copies of your assignment due in an hour. MORE »
If The Avengers Went to College
Loganor over at Columbia Basement wrote an article awhile back called “If Disney Princesses Went to College.” And being a boy… I unabashedly loved it and couldn’t stop trying to figure out which princess each staggering co-ed I saw while riding my scooter home was. This then got me scared that I had all... MORE »
Jesus Misses Easter, Too Hungover
After 3 straight days of partying, Jesus Christ, 33, awoke yesterday on April 8 to realize something awful – he had missed Easter. “I literally remember nothing about the past 3 days,” Jesus said to our crack-investigative team. “And then I woke up yesterday with the worst Dad-damn headache I’ve ever had... MORE »
Yogurt Crazy Bases Hours on New Cornell Study
A new business study from the Dyson School at Cornell shows that undergraduates only eat frozen yogurt at two points: when they are drunk or when the sun has completely set. When the Daily Sun article came out, students were confused as to whether or not this article was meant to be written for the... MORE »
CampusCruiser offers new service “CampusLoser”
We’ve all been there ““ dressed to impress at the best rager on Thursday night. The clock strikes 1am with DPS nowhere in sight; a great song comes on as you chat up the hottie you’ve been meaning to talk to for weeks. Then, out of nowhere? The person you least want to see stumbles... MORE »
The Poop Scoop
Anyone with roommates knows the frustration of the A.M. Bathroom Shuffle. That smelly game of musical chairs where you want to take time for your morning ablutions, but you want to avoid the stench of the morning deuce that preceded yours. Sometimes, you lose this game. Sometimes, you have to brave the wild and lawless... MORE »