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Jesus Misses Easter, Too Hungover
After 3 straight days of partying, Jesus Christ, 33, awoke yesterday on April 8 to realize something awful – he had missed Easter. “I literally remember nothing about the past 3 days,” Jesus said to our crack-investigative team. “And then I woke up yesterday with the worst Dad-damn headache I’ve ever had... MORE »
Yogurt Crazy Bases Hours on New Cornell Study
A new business study from the Dyson School at Cornell shows that undergraduates only eat frozen yogurt at two points: when they are drunk or when the sun has completely set. When the Daily Sun article came out, students were confused as to whether or not this article was meant to be written for the... MORE »
CampusCruiser offers new service “CampusLoser”
We’ve all been there ““ dressed to impress at the best rager on Thursday night. The clock strikes 1am with DPS nowhere in sight; a great song comes on as you chat up the hottie you’ve been meaning to talk to for weeks. Then, out of nowhere? The person you least want to see stumbles... MORE »
The Poop Scoop
Anyone with roommates knows the frustration of the A.M. Bathroom Shuffle. That smelly game of musical chairs where you want to take time for your morning ablutions, but you want to avoid the stench of the morning deuce that preceded yours. Sometimes, you lose this game. Sometimes, you have to brave the wild and lawless... MORE »
If Disney Princesses Went to College
When the ladies of Disney were actually alive, a college degree was superfluous. I’m using the word superfluous because, unlike Ariel, I didn’t get married to a prince at 16 and I’m going to need to know big words to get a job. It’s not like I want to be a gold-digging, amphibious ho– but I’m just a little... MORE »
A College Christmas Carol: Whiskey, Time Travel, and Matt Barkley
I down my entire Holiday Winesky Nog (wine, whiskey, egg nog, and cough syrup, because you’re only young once) in record time, my sixth mug celebrating the same number of potential love interests who stopped messaging back this week on a stupid dating site I don’t care about even a little bit at all. I’d... MORE »
The 4 a.m. Knock
The night has ended, all the parties are busted and the kegs are kicked. The boys and girls trying to “get it in” have paired up and began the stumbling journey back to the dorms to make bad decisions with people they’d never tell their friends about. If you were one of those final partiers,... MORE »
Drunk Letters To Santa (Basement Staff)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! Dear Tooth Fairy, Yo, why didn’t you give me any money when my mom made me get my wisdom teeth surgically removed last month? That hurt... MORE »
Two college girls kissing for the first time
I went on a cruise a few years back and convinced some girls to make out with each other. They thought this was for a photo but I was recording the whole thing. Couldn’t get them to do more than peck each other but it’s still fun to watch. MORE »