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On Saturday, March 3rd, Lindsay Lohan debuted her new inflatable face on Saturday Night Live, scaring children, parole officers, and Aaron Samuelsez across this great nation. In equally exciting news, March 3rd brought with it the announcement that President Barack Obama will be speaking at Barnard College, the most prestigious of all female colleges barring Rupaul’s... MORE »
And the hits just keep on coming. Sources within the Syracuse Athletic Department have told CampusBasement that in addition to sexually abusing children, sleeping with coaches’ wives, and blatantly ignoring internal drug testing policy, employees of and players on the SU basketball team may have also kidnapped and murdered Charles Lindbergh’s infant son in 1932.... MORE »
On Dec. 20th, Maria Rodriguez looked down at her bills and shook her head in awe, “There’s just no way we can stay in business, Lackmann charges us too much money in rent and supplies.” The defeated manager dropped the bill into the puddle of tears that had formed on her desk, ” We’re done, I have to file... MORE »
On the first day of Christmas, Professor gave to me: A night of binge drinking. On the second day of Christmas, Professor gave to me: 2 hours of sleep, And a night of binge drinking. On the third day of Christmas, Professor gave to me: 3 books to read (where do I buy books?), 2... MORE »
On Monday, Irina Kristy, a 74-year-old math professor at Boston University, was arrested on allegations that she has been running a methamphetamine laboratory out of her home in Somerville, MA. Kristy has been placed on administrative leave by the university. Shortly after being taken into custody, an additional allegation surfaced: intellectual property theft. Upon hearing... MORE »
In a surprising move by Lehigh University, Dayglow was allowed to be held at Stabler Arena on Saturday, where kids from Lehigh, and borderline humans from Lafayette and Moravian came to roll face or puke their brains out while listening to house music. As expected, over 40 students were sent to the hospital for drug or... MORE »
Check out this adorable video of two toddlers giving Charlie Sheen a run for his money. It’s like a snowman puked all over the living room. MORE »
Cocaine is a helluva drug: A Syracuse mother was arrested for using cocaine while breast-feeding her 14-month-old child. Residents and officials were completely shocked that the mother used cocaine and not good old-fashioned crack. Syracuse: a city on the rise. White (Macadamia) Power: UC-Berkeley Republicans protested the fact that white men are (supposedly) treated worse... MORE »
Groupon University: Groupon now offers a 60% discount on a graduate teaching program at National Louis University. This means that teachers will now have an answer to the age-old question, “What made you become a teacher?”: “There was a discount on Groupon.” Anyone Wanna Go Halfsies?: UMass Amherst began the semester by creating the world’s... MORE »