tagged campusbasement »

Article by carolineoreilly
November 2, 2012

Jones Hall Brothel Busted

Four individuals were arrested late Tuesday evening in conjunction with the bust of a brothel run out of Jones Residence Hall. The four, all Resident Assistants, were arrested and taken into custody after an undercover operation successfully infiltrated the establishment and discovered the Jones Hall Brothel, an operation feautring blocs of rooms on every floor... MORE »

Article by SupermanThatPo
February 28, 2012

How To Spend Your Leap Day 2012

Unbeknownst to people, unbeknownst is a real word. But also unbeknownst to most people is the fact that Leap Day is a major world holiday. I learned this while watching NBC’s highly acclaimed police drama “30 Rock”. The episode, entitled “Leap Day”, taught me that nothing you do matters on this day, which comes around... MORE »

Article by SupermanThatPo
February 21, 2012

The Piggyback Bandit Is Coming to Town

If you haven’t heard by now, a man named Sherwin Shayegan has made quite the reputation for himself in the world of high school sports. Standing at 5-foot-8, 240-pounds, The Washington State native attends High School sporting events, often dressed in the proper athletic uniform, with a single goal in mind. “He helped lay out... MORE »

Article by SupermanThatPo
February 14, 2012

Breaking News: Guys and Girls CAN Be Just Friends

The great question of “can guys and girls be just friends?’ is often answered with roaring controversy. Most women say sure, of course they can. Most men say hell mother fucking no, they cannot. Unbalanced emotion, confusion, desperation, horniness, and drunkenness often complicate the issue. As we learned in Sex Ed, guys and girls have... MORE »

Article by Eric Pratt
January 24, 2012

A Letter of Apology From All of Me

Dearest Campus Basement Readers, I’m not sleeping with them. Oh no. I’m just saying, “Dearest’ is a little much. Hey there Campus Basement fans, They aren’t idiots. You, however, can’t even punctuate properly. Hey there, CB Fans, I regret to inform you – What are you, a rejection letter? No, what I am is frustrated,... MORE »

Article by SupermanThatPo
January 19, 2012

Ramapo Basement Instantly More Popular Than “Daily Digest”

If you’re a student at Ramapo College, you’ve at least heard of the infamous Daily Digest, a daily newsletter sent out to the entire student body via email. Popping up around 3:00am, the overloaded, unimportant press is better known for being instantly deleted than actually read. Ramapo Basement has made it their goal to become... MORE »

Article by Roy Parker
November 4, 2011

An Urgent Plea for You to Read

Dear Reader,   I don’t think you understand how important it is that you’re reading this article. For at this very moment, you are in fact saving lives. Whose lives? Our lives. The lives of us trapped down here in this basement forced to write articles for your amusement.   Are you confused? Let me... MORE »