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Article by Becca Grumet
November 21, 2012

15 Things I’m Thankful For

Because time moves too quickly in college I’m not really sure what Thanksgiving is about anymore (pilgrims?? Genocide? I dunno), but the one thing I do recall is that people say what they’re thankful for, and so I’ve compiled a list to read out at the dinner table tomorrow: 1. The Mucho Mango smoothie at the SCA... MORE »

October 31, 2012

Overbearing Mother Who Attended Parents’ Weekend Still Refusing to Say Who Gave Her a Hickey at the Tailgate

Monica Del Valle, a 46-year-old bank manager from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, became the object of intense scrutiny this past week after her son Danny, a junior studying Economics, noticed a small, asymmetrical bruise on his mother’s neck as she pulled him away from a keg stand. According to initial reports, the jovial atmosphere was disrupted... MORE »

October 5, 2012

Hookup on the Row Leads to Actual Feelings, Greek Community “Shocked”

He was in a pastel pink tank top and Chinos. She was in a white blouse and black short shorts. His wayfarers were falling off his face. She had someone’s underwear on her head. Separately, they were merely fodder for another night on the Row. Together, however, they presented something revolutionary. “It was shocking,” recounted... MORE »

Article by Jessica Kluge
September 19, 2012

Rainy day? Needs More Water

Ramapo has been doing all it can to ensure a more ‘green’ and economic campus over the past few years.  In an effort to be even more sustainable, the executive board has confirmed its decision to only activate the college’s sprinklers during rainstorms.  Whether it be a light drizzle or torrential monsoon, hundreds of expensive,... MORE »

Article by maxmartinez
May 16, 2012

Cornell Bans Smoking on Campus for Fall 2012

For some people, there’s nothing like taking a quick cigarette break in between a class or during a timeout from an intense study session in the library. Unfortunately, the next time that craving hits you, you’ll have to walk to Collegetown to do it. This morning President David J. Skorton announced that the administration voted... MORE »

Article by NoahBakst
April 6, 2012

Not Guitaring Laid?

  After months of research, your team of Michigan CampusBasement scientists has made a shocking discovery. Gentlemen, playing the guitar will no longer get you laid. Recent reports state that finger picking your way into panties has plucked its final note. It was a joke to Dylan; your father had it easy. Playing in a... MORE »

Article by dbehren
March 29, 2012

Escaped prisoner caught on campus

Darius Phillips, 20, was arrested on the 1400 block of SW 42nd Street on Wednesday morning around 8:30 am on charges of domestic battery and grand theft auto. Phillips was sitting in the car of an officer who was just finishing a midnight shift. Officers were planning to escort him to a different car and... MORE »