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Article by carolineoreilly
December 28, 2012

The Story of Syllabus Week

Syllabus Week, known as the “Festival of Natty Lights” to many, will soon be upon us once more. Though widely celebrate by most college students, there are many who have forgotten the true meaning of the weeklong celebration. To remind us why we celebrate Syllabus Week, we have decided to retell the story of how... MORE »

October 31, 2012

Overbearing Mother Who Attended Parents’ Weekend Still Refusing to Say Who Gave Her a Hickey at the Tailgate

Monica Del Valle, a 46-year-old bank manager from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, became the object of intense scrutiny this past week after her son Danny, a junior studying Economics, noticed a small, asymmetrical bruise on his mother’s neck as she pulled him away from a keg stand. According to initial reports, the jovial atmosphere was disrupted... MORE »

Article by drewthegoose
September 12, 2012

Fraternity Fails to Understand Irony Concerning Communal Beer Plan

A fraternity at the University of Missouri failed Friday to understand the irony behind their communal beer plan. The fraternity, Alpha Sigma Sigma, made a decision Thursday to have every one of their members chip in $10 to buy beer for their tailgate. “We wanted to have enough beer for all of the chicas,” member... MORE »

Article by jillboard
September 4, 2012

The Official Ramapo College Drinking Game

“WELCOME BACK PEONS!!” – President Mercer, September 4th, 2012 MAHWAH, NJ – BREAKING: In order to raise morale around campus, President Mercer just emailed the Ramapo Basement staff the Official Drinking Game of Ramapo College. I know, I know, it’s the oxymoron of the century. Obviously this game cannot be played on Ramapo’s campus, as... MORE »

Article by loganor
May 2, 2012

Kill, Fuck, Marry: Cheese. Slow Jamz Edition.

This week I have a lot of work. I am also creating the greatest article ever written for campus basement of all time in the history of the world ever. While you are waiting, please enjoy my KFM: C. Kthxbai. MORE »

Article by loganor
March 22, 2012

Brackets that are Actually Worth Making

I love brackets. They are the parentheses’ ugly cousin. [They are the boxy, Khloe Kardashian to the sumptuous curves of the Kim Kardashian-like parenthesis) Want to know what bracket I’m not so keen on? The March Madness bracket. I grew up with the Lakers and the Clippers, people. I’ve seen professionals fight and whine like... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
March 19, 2012

BREAKING: Guy who doesn’t chip in thought beer was free

“It’s like when I found out Santa wasn’t real, all over again,” says Ross*, a junior who hasn’t put a dime toward beer the three years he’s been drinking it. “When I think back to all the shotgunning, all the beer pong… Even the victories feel like shame.” The frequent party host who broke the... MORE »