tagged basketball »

Article by jpramuk
March 9, 2013

Boeheim Shits on Podium After Georgetown Loss

Syracuse head coach Jim Boeheim walked to the postgame press conference podium after his reeling team’s 61-39 embarrassment at No. 5 Georgetown Saturday, undid his pants, dropped a steaming, rancid turd just below the microphone, and walked out.   “You want an opening statement?” An irate Boeheim asked as he undid his belt. “Here’s my... MORE »

Article by carolineoreilly
November 29, 2012

MU Basketball Players Actually Monstars

Columbia, Missouri- Scandal and college sports, it would seem, go hand in hand. During a routine pre-season blood test, the blood work of five members of the MU men’s basketball team came back clear of all substances. As if this fact wasn’t shocking enough on its own, it was uncovered that the five, all freshmen... MORE »

Article by carolineoreilly
October 1, 2012

MU Introduces Jersey Chasing as Newest Club Sport

Carefully checking her makeup using the selfie-mode of her iPhone 4s, Mary hides behind a trash can, lying in wait for the moment when Freshmen tight end Jack (whose name has been changed for his own personal safety) leaves his room, at which point she will pop up and accidentally bump into him, thus striking... MORE »

Article by loganor
May 2, 2012

Kill, Fuck, Marry: Cheese. Slow Jamz Edition.

This week I have a lot of work. I am also creating the greatest article ever written for campus basement of all time in the history of the world ever. While you are waiting, please enjoy my KFM: C. Kthxbai. MORE »

Article by Nicole G
April 12, 2012

No. 1 Recruit Nerlens Noel Chooses Kentucky, Orange Fans Blame Fab Melo

Nerlens Noel, rated the number one recruit in the Class of 2012, announced today that he will play NCAA basketball at the University of Kentucky. After narrowing his list of schools to Syracuse, Kentucky, and Georgetown, he committed to the reigning national champions. Orange fans, furious about how the events transpired, were determined to play... MORE »

Article by LukeStarnes
April 10, 2012

Davis, Griner to go first and second overall in NBA draft

With most people projecting that the Charlotte Bobcats will select Kentucky forward Anthony Davis in this year’s NBA draft, all eyes have now turned to the number two overall pick. Although the lottery has not taken place yet, many believe that the pick will be awarded to the Washington Wizards. With his selection, owner Ted... MORE »

Article by Alex R
April 4, 2012

The Fab Melo Riots

With the news late Monday night that Sophomore Center Fab Melo will forgo his junior year as he declared for the NBA draft Syracuse fans took their excitement to the streets. Fans burned couches, flipped cars, and looted all along Marshall Street as the news spread- all while chanting the 1969 song “Na Na Hey... MORE »

Video by Brian W
March 31, 2012

Syracuse Basketball Team Sings “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen

The Syracuse Basketball Team sings "call me maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen. Featuring Kris Joseph Griffin Hoffmann Michael Carter Williams Matt Lyde. MORE »

Article by Roy Parker
March 26, 2012

Final Four is Set, Basketball Responds to Coast-ist Comments

With Kansas defeating personal rival North Carolina yesterday, the Final Four of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament was complete. Along with Kansas is Ohio State, Kentucky, and Louisville. And no one on the West Coast gave a crap. When asked about the lack of teams from the West Coast in the Final Four, Chaz Chadderie,... MORE »