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In response to Notre Dame’s win, Syracuse students deny Irish heritage
Following a record-breaking season, Syracuse basketball lost its first game tonight against the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. “We’re protesting,” senior James O’Conner says. “Anyone of Irish descent is officially changing said heritage tonight.” With that, O’Conner immediately crossed off his name on his student ID to Ezekial Monora. “I really didn’t know what wasn’t Irish,... MORE »
To the Syracuse University graduating class of 2012….
Ah, the dawn of a spring semester at Syracuse University ““ a time when spring itself is nothing but a thought over yonder, behind the mile-high snow banks and record-breaking wind chills. A time when students return to campus and thus, rejoice in their awaiting academia, frolicking to the thought of cold nights spent curled... MORE »
Frats Pay For Pussy
The upstanding gentlemen of Lehigh’s many remaining fraternities pay out some serious C.R.E.A.M. in order to”¦ cream. Don’t look so shocked. It’s as true as the Hill-wide drug raids conducted earlier in the semester by LUPD (you didn’t hear about that from me). Don’t believe me? Well, the numbers don’t lie and we’ll get to... MORE »
Drunk Letters To Santa (Basement Staff)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! Dear Tooth Fairy, Yo, why didn’t you give me any money when my mom made me get my wisdom teeth surgically removed last month? That hurt... MORE »
What Parents Should Really Get Their College Kids for Christmas
As the big day approaches ““ and by this I mean Christmas, not the birth of your next child ““ you’ve become increasingly anxious about finding the right gift. Not just any gift, but the most perfect of gifts for your most perfect child. Yeah, I’m talking about the same kid that gets trashed on... MORE »
The 12 Days of College Christmas
On the first day of Christmas, Professor gave to me: A night of binge drinking. On the second day of Christmas, Professor gave to me: 2 hours of sleep, And a night of binge drinking. On the third day of Christmas, Professor gave to me: 3 books to read (where do I buy books?), 2... MORE »
Formal Season 2011: This is how I’ll die, isn’t it?
What’s your favorite time of year…Christmas or Wedding Season? Formal Season! That’s right fellow Cornellians, it is that time of the semester where you have nothing to do because classes are over and study week has yet to begin. It’s the best time of the year. Get all fancy in your dress or your shirt... MORE »
Syracuse police ‘Too Busy’ giving parking tickets to bother with Fine allegations
Mere weeks after Penn State became a nationwide spectacle, another scandal emerged in the world of college athletics, this time involving the Syracuse Orange and their basketball team’s assistant coach Bernie Fine. According to reports, allegations were brought to the Syracuse Police Department as early as 2002 accusing Mr. Fine of molesting two former ball... MORE »