Go ahead. Search for the 10 day forecast for Syracuse, NY. At this point, you’ll have a good idea of what Mayfest will look like.
Okay, not freezing rain, but firstly, rain on Mayfest? Seriously? As if. That is not happening, got this? The holiest of all days born from this woebegone land of SU? You dare giveth us rain on Mayfest, Syracuse? And secondly, rain in barely 60 degrees? Nay say we!
I’ve insisted on being scantily-clad for every Mayfest thus far and will be sure this year is no exception. And by golly, Syracuse, you will prove weather.com wrong and give us beautiful day-drinking weather come April 29th.
Look. I know we Syracusers cannot complain. We have faced no tornadoes nor tsunamis, floods, droughts, forest fires, or any number of natural disasters plaguing other parts of the world.
But god dammit, give us our deserved 80 degree sunshine come next Friday.
We put up with a lot of shit, Syracuse. Need us remind you how much snow you doled out this year? The fifth snowiest winter in your history, I believe? For one week, it literally did not stop snowing. For over 100 hours. And it was during finals week, you son of a bitch city. And then you dropped 12 inches of snow in one night in the middle of March. MARCH. You know – the month in which Spring starts? Not to mention it’s SNOWING TODAY – IN LATE APRIL. Oh yeah, we can tell the seasons are REALLY important to your ulterior agenda.
Never mind the fact that this Spring has been so god damn cold. Or that the one week it was actually fucking nice out was when the majority of us were MIA on spring break! Well, fuck you too Syracuse!
Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. What do you want, Syracuse? We put up with all of your climatic mood swings only to be burned by your bipolar weather repeatedly. How about I call all those journalists who made all those lists about Syracuse being such a sad, gray city and tell them they are wrong and should print a correction to their statements, how does that sound?
You know what, we’re past all the previous fights we have had. Consider all forgiven if you just give us a beautiful Mayfest.
WHY WON’T YOU DO THIS FOR US????????? PLEASE PLEASE SYRACUSE! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????????????????????????????????????????
So, all day happy hour at Chucks this Friday?