Cyndi Talman of Norfolk, VA has an 18 year-old son who just began his Freshman year at Syracuse. However, her son, Bobby, is not like other freshmen. Is Bobby Talman extraordinarily tall, or fast, or intelligent? No. Bobby Talman wears a fur parka at all times. Often mistaken for a bear, and already captured twice on various scavanger hunts held by off-campus fraternities, Bobby is pretty hard to miss.
“When he decided that Syracuse was the school he wanted to be at, I wanted to take repurcussions to make sure he stayed warm! Everyone was always saying ‘Syracuse? That place is freezing!’ so I knew we had to prepare so that little Bobby wasn’t coming down with a cold every other week!” explains Bobby’s mother. “We made a deal with Bobby before he left home. If he wears the parka at all times, then we’ll pay his tuition. If not, he’s disinherited. And shunned. We felt it was a fair deal.”
Unfortunately, it hasn’t been as fair of a deal for Bobby as it sounds. Unable to convince his mother that Syracuse is not completely frozen over and does, in fact, reach 85 degrees on some September days, Bobby has had the misfortune of passing out from heat stroke on 6 separate occasions and has developed the nickname “Kenny.”
“I’m not allowed to watch TV, so I don’t really know who the Kenny character is. I guess it’s better than my nickname in high school; no, it wasn’t shit bag. The parka hasn’t been as minor of an inconvenience as I thought it would be, paticularly since I’m contractually obligated to shower in it. I pretty much smell like a wet dog all the time and occasionally I see mirages when I’m walking to class. Last week I hallucinated a swimming pool and I wound up trying to cannonball into a Women’s Literature course. I hate my mother.” said Bobby.
If you would like to talk to Bobby, you can find him passed out near the Grant Auditorium or trying to sneak into the freezer in the Ernie Davis dining hall.