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The hardest rejection I’ve ever had to do.
Since everybody at Syracuse can do a backflip, this pick-up line’s success rate has plummeted through the ground. MORE »
Bring Replacement Refs to the Carrier Dome
The Syracuse Orange football team currently have one win and three losses on their 2012-2013 season record. It seems no matter what we do, we can’t seem to win (except play shitty schools.) Our coaches don’t help, our players don’t help (please don’t beat me up), so we’ve gotta do what every frustrated sports fan... MORE »
Poll of the Safest Places in Syracuse
Campus Basement took a poll of what students think are the safest places in Syracuse. Our goal is to inform students so they may be safer on and off campus. MORE »
ATTENTION ALL PREPSTERS: Popped Collars are making a comeback
When did popped collars stop being cool? In junior high, you knew who the cool kids were. They had the coolest spot on the playground at recess, sat at the back of the bus, and popped their collars. Those young’ns looked fresh! Then a disaster occurred. The clean-cut, preppy look was replaced with the grungy,... MORE »
DPS Party Busts Cause Sharp Drop in Weekend Violence
In response to an alarming string of violence in the Syracuse campus area in the past few weekends, the Department of Public Safety and Syracuse Police Department created a new initiative to break up every party on campus and the outlying areas. The brilliant initiative yielded immediate results, as violent crimes went down 350% in... MORE »
Syracuse Police Department Ranked First in Nation for Party-Busting
The National Anti-Fun Association awarded the Syracuse Police as the most efficient party-patrollers in the United States. A glimpse at SPD’s crime stats shows they’ve shut down 7,342 parties in the last year along, 500 more parties than every other police force combined. This increase in heroic police work can be credited to the force’s... MORE »
Students Deserve to See More than the Dalai Lama
Syracuse students have a lot to look forward to this year when it comes to celebrity guests. They’ve already seen Childish Gambino and Calvin Harris (with special guest The Dean’s List). University Union has planned “An Evening with Modern Family’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson” and surely everyone bought their tickets for the One World Concert with... MORE »
Syracuse Burns Through “It” Money at Announcement Event
Syracuse University held an event on its quad Thursday afternoon to finally reveal the specifics of its heavily discussed “It” campaign. The campaign raised $1 billion from individual donors well before its goal date. The university subsequently spent every cent on tents, mini hot dogs, hamburgers, soda, orange sunglasses, frisbees, video screens, tables, and noisemakers... MORE »
One World Concert to Host Heated Showdown
The One World Concert has already been generating considerable buzz on the Syracuse campus, in the surrounding community and on an international scale, but recent developments may steer the event in a new direction. The star-studded concert, which will follow a public talk by the Dalai Lama, is set to veer from its original format,... MORE »
SU Campus Basement Update
It’s been awfully quiet here at the Syracuse Basement, and I’ve decided to take it upon myself to update you all on what we’ve been up to. How lucky you are! So without further ado, here’s what you need to know and don’t already know about the greatest school in the nation, mine. It’s... MORE »