The National Anti-Fun Association awarded the Syracuse Police as the most efficient party-patrollers in the United States.
A glimpse at SPD’s crime stats shows they’ve shut down 7,342 parties in the last year along, 500 more parties than every other police force combined. This increase in heroic police work can be credited to the force’s hard work and dedication to ending all parties, sources say.
Chief of Police Frank Fowler accepted the award, and was more than proud of this landmark accomplishment, as he mentions in his speech, “Yes, the crime rates may be up, but the fun rates have been the lowest they’ve ever been, and that’s how you know you’re doing the right job as a police officer.”
Currently the department expends 75% of their officers to their anti-party squadron, an amount set to increase by Spring of 2013.
As indicated by numerous crime-alert e-mails sent by the University, thefts, assaults or attempted rapes have happened at least once a week nearby campus, but students are happy police are amping up efforts to protect the campus from dastardly parties.
“I used to be afraid of walking around the campus and nights,” said Maxwell grad student Farell Grent. “I’d run and hide if I heard dance music or laughter. It’s a real peace of mind knowing our officers are working so hard to prevent parties. I feel so safe.”