Syracuse University Chancellor Provost Nancy Cantor wanted
to do something to give back to the students who have given her so much already
over the years she’s been in command.
To her, the best way she could do so was to throw a concert idea out of
nowhere and shock the students with the news that Ludacris and Rick Ross would
be headlining the act.

“Yeah, it’s great for the kids,” said Cantor in an exclusive
interview with Campus Basement. “But
for real, this is gonna be dope.
The Dome? You know that
place is gonna be rockin’!”

Chancellor Cantor also said that she believes that this
concert will be a much-needed escape for students looking to blow off steam in
an already academically packed semester.

“Yo, I heard some professors were teaching the curriculum on
the first day! I be like, “waaat,’
you know, that’s crazy. You’d
swear these kids are paying just to learn sometimes, so you gotta do something
to help them have fun.”

Despite what some students may be thinking, the Rock the
Dome event will not be one that allows firearms of any kind. Cantor has issued a strict “No-Gat”
policy, and anyone found to have a concealed weapon would be subjected to a
standoff with her crew of thugs. As
for the security at the February show, Dome Security will stand by its usual policy: Don’t start no shit, there won’t be no shit.

The Rock the Dome Concert is the first in what is expected
to become an annual concert series.
Possible future acts include Kanye West, Jay Z, Blue Ivy, Simon &
Garfunkel, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Pitbull, the Baja Men, Kevin Federline,
Kevin Costner, Nicolas Cage, Nicolas Cage’s hairpiece, The Temptations, and
maybe even the King himself, Elvis Presley.

When confronted with the fact that some of these acts are
not musical or no longer living in some cases, Cantor simply replied, “It’s all
about who you know.”

Tickets for the February 2nd Concert are on sale
now over Facebook for more than twice their value. Scalpers will also be out in full swing up
to 4 hours before Ludacris and Rick Ross take the stage.