It’s the last day of midterms here at SU, which means that most of the students’ supplies of fucks to be given has run dangerously low. If you’re like me, (and, well, you’re not, but let’s pretend you are anyways,) you’ve come out strong into midterms only to find yourself struggling to coast into spring break. Don’t worry! Because you’ve already made it! Pat yourself on the back! Or whatever the kids are doing these days…

Going from school to spring break can be a perilous transition if not properly handled, which is why I’ve comprised a few tips to help survive a week away from school.


You’ve been getting your chow on at the dining hall for months now, and if you see one more plate of mystery stir fry, you’re going to hurl all over Ernie Davis. Nothing against Club Ernesto, it’s just that food that was made for the masses will always pale in comparison to taste…That is, until you go home. The first thing that you’ll notice is that the food is unlimited, just like in the dining hall. DO NOT LET THIS FOOL YOU, it’s more than ok to eat. And it’s more than just ok, it’s home cooking, and you’re not leaving the table until you’re a member of the clean-plate club. Just try not to throw your plates and silverware at your parents and walk out; most people get mad at that, even the unionized workers of the dining halls (Yes, they need a union? Must be rough.).


Even the biggest party animals struggle to survive this transition, and for obvious reasons. The heavy drinkers will usually go somewhere tropical, and then do something stupid, like getting stabbed or dying. This can put a damper on just about any party, (with the exception, of course, going to Weekend at Bernie’s). So try not to die while away from school, it’ll make getting a college degree that much harder, and well, in this job market, you’re probably behind anyway.

Interaction with Others

College isn’t real life. Anyone who tells you differently is probably on drugs, because they’re incredibly wrong. Going home for spring break puts a taste of reality into the mouth of the college student whose mind is cluttered with empty cans of Natty and dirty, dirty thoughts. Pounding an entire 30-rack of beer by yourself may be acceptable and even encouraged while at school, but for the most part, people outside of college communities frown upon such activities, (I assume it’s because they just wanted wine coolers).

Work Ethic

At home, there is none. If you went somewhere for spring break, it’s even less. Which is why it’s so good to have midterms right before spring break so as to have a celebration of long nights in the library fueled by caffeine, cigarettes, and adderall. Having a huge amount of stress right before a break makes you appreciate the time off even more. However, it does persuade you to do absolutely nothing over spring break, because, well, who cares, right?