First the ACC and now this.
According to a source inside the SU Athletic Department, Syracuse has decided to release Otto the Orange from his role as Official Mascot of Syracuse University, a position that he has held for 16 years.
Sources say that Otto simply can’t cut it in this day and age, when mascots are typically required to be in better physical shape.
“Otto has really let himself go,” said Athletic Director Daryl Gross. “Did you know that in 1995 he started out as a clementine? I don’t know how it got so bad”¦”
The last time Syracuse changed mascots was in 1978 after the Saltine Warrior was protested, presumably by crackers who were offended by the connotation. During that period, it took more than 15 years for “Cuse to elect a new mascot. Yes, it took 15 years for them to come up with “Orange.” Other options at the time included “Rhombus,” “Burnt Sienna,” and “Hepatitis.”
This time around the decision was much simpler. After only minutes of debate, university officials have decided that the new mascot for Syracuse University will be: a Furby.
“For one thing, the Furby is way more intimidating than an orange,” said Chancellor Nancy Cantor. “We showed the Furby to some of our people, and when that little fucker said “Feed me!’ with that creepy leprechaun voice, one of the board members shit herself. True story.”
Students will have a brief period to mourn the loss of their beloved Otto, but come winter, SU will begin acclimating students to their new mascot by stationing Furbys throughout campus, including in dining halls, restrooms, and under each student’s bed. Construction is also scheduled to begin on a massive Furby statue on the quad to be completed in July 2027, pending progress on every other construction project on campus.
Official Syracuse University Furby costumes will go on sale in Schine Bookstore starting at $229.99.
Photo by blamethecrane