This Syracusean winter (or lack
thereof) has certainly been weird to say the least. No snow on the
ground and warm, sunny days in February? Nice try, 315, cut the shit.
While we’re sure these are the early signs of the 2012 apocalypse, in
your remaining time before the world ends, find out what your
weather-bearing habits say about you.
1) You are a diehard heavy coat, winter
Listen, we get it ““ you prepare for
things the way our generation did for Y2k and the end of the
Democratic-controlled House: by stocking up on food, water, and
firearms because life as we know might never be the same again. But
get over yourself ““ have you seen the weather lately? Try
downgrading to a pea coat and save yourself from looking like an
overly cautious and presumably sweaty winter-fearing 20-something.
2) Uggs & Northface
So conformity is your shtick, huh?
Well don’t let us change your mind…unless of course, you’d like to
wear something more individualistic on this campus or at the very
least, something that actually prevents your feet from the “wintery
mix” to which Syracuse is ultra accustomed. Shall we say, try L.L.
Bean for your footwear needs? That way, you won’t fall on your ass
walking across Walnut Park because the makers of Uggs neglected to
put any amount of tread on your so-called “winter boots.”
3) In a T-shirt/flipflops/sans coat
Thinking you’re cool for going out
without a coat isn’t cool and last I checked, only high school
students think that so kudos to aligning yourself with something
even worse than freshmen. Granted, the moment at parties when you’re
still wearing a coat and realize you have the option of setting it
down somewhere and having it invariably vomited on or roasting all
night is not an ideal situation. But for the love of god, it beats
being that tool walking down Euclid in an American Apparel tee
visibly freezing his or her ass off.
Oh please, don’t act like you don’t
know what I am talking about OR that you dress like one of the above
and somehow think this still applies to you. Honestly, if you’re an
SU student, you can be safe to assume this one can’t apply to you ““
leave #4 for the ESFers.