Syracuse University’s highly regarded maintenance organization, FixIt, is usually accustomed to performing routine repair and cleaning jobs for students such as replacing light bulbs around campus or powerwashing vomit off the carpets of dormitory common rooms. But Tuesday at approximately 3:00pm, Helen Graham, a 20-year veteran FixIt employee, received a call and was unexpectedly met with a different kind of request. On the other line was junior engineering major Matt Benson, who sought professional assistance in opening a pouch of the popular juice drink, Capri Sun.

Benson’s struggle with poking the straw into the tiny foil-covered hole of the brand’s trademark pouch dates all the way back to first grade. “Back then, they didn’t even have the easy-open pouches and all the kids had to ask the lunch ladies to do it,” Benson recalls. “Even if you could get the stupid straw into the top, you almost always stabbed it through to the other side of the pouch and impaled it entirely, getting the juice everywhere. I still struggle with it every day.”

Upon receiving the call, Graham was in the process of assisting a freshman student who was stuck in a Lawrinson elevator. However, she determined that Benson’s issue required immediate attention – she dropped her toolkit and rushed to his house on Euclid Avenue, where Benson sat in the corner of the living room in the fetal position, staring blankly at the tasty tropical fruit-flavored beverage before him.

Graham, sporting her usual employee attire of overalls with the “FixIt” brand on the front, heroically approached the student and his Capri Sun. “He just looked so sad and frustrated,” she said. “I can replace a lock no problem, but I could tell that opening this delectable drink was going to be something completely different.” However, a handywoman since childhood, she experienced little difficulty. She gripped the pointed yellow straw in her hand and promptly punched it through, enabling the dehydrated student to consume his drink at last. Benson was elated. “I owe her my life,” he remarked, as Graham exited the home and drove away in her repair van, off to her next job.

Graham’s triumph over the Capri Sun pouch has led to a new word-of-mouth campaign that is designating FixIt as the go-to company to help students fulfill their basic everyday needs. Newhouse sophomore Michael Hawkins was preparing for his first job interview on Wednesday when he suddenly remembered he did not know how to tie a tie ““ FixIt came to the rescue with just minutes to spare. Other recent success stories include an employee breaking open that annoying plastic clamshell packaging that Nintendo Wii remotes come in, opening a container of Crowley “Blueberry Thrill” flavored yogurt without causing the yogurt to violently explode out of the lid, and swiping a student’s ID card to her dormitory when her hands were full of grocery bags.

Incidentally, Lawrinson freshman Bernard Goldstein’s whereabouts are unknown and he has been reported missing since last Tuesday.

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