In order to accomodate more students as well as recycle unwanted snow, Syracuse University has begun hollowing out mounds of snow to create igloo-style residence halls. These new “buildings” are available in singles, doubles and snow-suite style. A large advantage of the new residence halls is that many students now have the opportunity to live in prime locations such as the quad and Marshall St. A large disadvantage is that every single student living in the new dorms has had to amputate a limb from severe frost-bite and at least half have had their room broken into.

“I know that many people have concerns about the new halls’ lack of security, but we’re working on it. Pretty soon we’re going to have a bucket of water above the entrance way. That’ll keep ‘em out.” a spokesperson from the university assured us.
“We’ve also had people come to us with concerns about what will come of their dorm in the Spring when the snow melts…To those people, I say: come on. This is Syracuse. That shit’s not melting until at least May. During finals week those kids can just putt around and freeload off their friends. Or be homeless. Whatever floats their boat.”