Article by jpramuk
March 9, 2013

Boeheim Shits on Podium After Georgetown Loss

Syracuse head coach Jim Boeheim walked to the postgame press conference podium after his reeling team’s 61-39 embarrassment at No. 5 Georgetown Saturday, undid his pants, dropped a steaming, rancid turd just below the microphone, and walked out.   “You want an opening statement?” An irate Boeheim asked as he undid his belt. “Here’s my... MORE »

Article by Alfred
February 11, 2013

Pope resigns, realizes there is no God after hearing Pauly D will be playing at Syracuse University

Catholics around the world were shocked to hear that Pope Benedict XVI had resigned from his position as “THE CLOSEST PERSON TO GOD ON EARTH.” He tells sources at Campus Basement that the departure comes from fatigue, old age, and University Union’s Winter Carnival line-up. “They were hyping the students up, saying, ‘oh get ready,... MORE »

Article by jpramuk
January 24, 2013

Phone Screenshots Officially Confirm Syracuse is Coldest Place Ever

Syracuse University students posted hundreds of smart phone screenshots of the city’s weather to social media in the past three days, officially confirming the city is “literally, like, THE coldest place ever.” The sheer number of screenshots showing temperatures that ranged from -65 degrees Celsius to 10 degrees Fahrenheit alarmed scientists, who quickly confirmed the... MORE »

Article by Alfred
January 18, 2013

The Differences Between Fall and Spring Semester

Welcome back to Syracuse everybody! You may be wondering what’s so different about this semester than the last, so we here at Campus Basement are proud to present our comparative guide to help you transition into the new semester. MORE »

Article by Alfred
November 30, 2012

Things Syracuse Should Have But Don’t: Puppy Rooms

Finals week is coming up, and as we all know, it’s the most stressful time of the year. Syracuse University usually comes out with a handful of lame-ass events to help relieve stress. (Wow, breakfast at NIGHT TIME. You really out-did yourselves this time) Our neighbors across the North border at Dalhousie University’s got the... MORE »

Picture by Alfred
October 26, 2012

Poorly Translated SAW shirt

Spotted in Ernie Davis Dining Hall. I knew Jigsaw was made in China. MORE »

Picture by Kevin Cardoni
October 22, 2012

Courtesy Flush?

Three guesses as to where this picture was taken.  If you didn’t say “a VERY public bathroom” after three guess, well, I just feel sorry for you. MORE »