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  1. Peel Otto open. Crawl inside. Burrow yourself. Were talking two birds here: food and warmth. Let the force be with you.
  2. Pay a group of freshmen to breathe on you. The geekier the freshmen, the more likely it is they’re natural mouth-breathers. Let the warmness commence.*
  3. Go abroad. Every semester. At the University of Florida.
  4. Schedule all your classes to be in the same building. Move into that building. Or switch to the Architecture school. Either option has the same outcome.
  5. Sell your soul in exchange for a giant hair dryer to be placed directly above Syracuse.
  6. Get someone to sit on your shoulders and gently urinate on you. Then you do the same for them. This could lead to other ways to stay warm ;)
  7. Build a giant bubble around the University. Open Nancy Cantor’s front door. Enjoy free heat.
  8. Elect idiots into office. Do horrible deeds. Waste money. There is one direct benefit of the city “going to hell.”
  9. Change the tilt of Earth’s axis so that Syracuse gets more direct light. Yeah, I got a C in Astronomy; u jealy?
  10. Enter your dining hall, pull down your pants, and jump on top of a hot bowl of soup. Refuse to leave.

*Utilize at your own risk during flu season

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