Junior point guard Antonio “Scoop” Jardine was reportedly “thrilled” when informed Thursday that the 30,000 fans at the Carrier Dome were, in fact, chanting “Scoop,” and not booing the young player.
The confusion has caused some distress for the Philadelphia native. “It was like the harder I played, the more everyone just booed me,” sighed Jardine. “I know these fans expect a lot, but seriously, what the fuck?!”
Since the discovery, Jardine has withdrawn from weekly therapy sessions and is looking forward to the remainder of the season with a positive attitude. “Oh I feel great! It’s like a huge weight has been lifted,” he said. “Now if someone will just make me one of those big-ass Scoop heads, we’ll win the championship for sure.”
Let’s hope so.