Alan Panzer, Syracuse Class of 2008, misses room 206 in
Sadler Hall.

“That place was the best,” says Panzer, who lived in a split
double. “I had windows! And a desk! And I could walk around! I remember at the
time being so angry and thinking, “This is the tiniest room in the world.’

“I was wrong.”

Panzer currently resides in a 200 square-foot apartment on
the Lower East Side of Manhattan, for which he pays $1,500 per month. Gas and
electric are not included. A quick tour of the apartment lasted three seconds
and revealed that he has no windows, no light, a refrigerator from 1963, and no

“You sorta get used to using a hot plate,” says Panzer. “It’s
like I live in Paris or something.”

Added Panzer, “If Parisians have a ton of cockroaches in
their apartments and can’t fit anything in their bedrooms other than a bed.”

Panzer is reportedly considering graduate school.

“To be honest, I have no idea what I’ll study, but I
definitely want to get back into a dorm room. They’re way more spacious and
that dining hall food is way better
than the canned tuna and box of mac and cheese I heat on my hot plate every

Panzer is advising current college students to relish their
time in dorms. “Seriously, never leave that room. Enjoy it. Also, does anyone
need a roommate?”

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