It was discovered early Friday morning that one aspect of Syracuse University’s deal with the ACC had not been disclosed to the public yet.
“Yes, it’s true.” Began a University official. “As part of our recent deal with the ACC the University will be required to move its headquarters from Syracuse to New York City. Lubin House will move to Syracuse. We haven’t worked out all the details yet, but it’ll be totally worth it to see Duke and UNC in the Dome…in New York City.”
According to the University, the entire lot of University buildings including the Dome will be brought along to NYC.
“What, you’ve never heard of UHaul? We’re taking it all with us. Hendrick’s Chapel, the black squirrels, the Kimmel Food Court employees; we’re boxing it all up and shipping out to the big Apple!”
The University hasn’t given an official statement yet, but she has hinted that the University will be changing its name and mascot.
“Currently our PR strategy is to just be as cryptic as possible. The less you know, the more you know. I think Eleanor Roosevelt may have said that. I’ll look into it. We’re also looking into the possibility of possibly changing our name to a possible new name. Possibly. In the near future. But soon. But still kind of far away. It might happen. Soon.” explained an anonymous University official.
“If we were to change the name it will likely become ‘Syracuse University of the State of New York Now Located in New York City’ or just NYU if we can get the rights. It’s a little less wordy.” the official continued. “We’re also considering a mascot change. Currently the front runner is Arnold the Apple, but we’re also in heavy talks with the Naked Cowboy.
Look out, Duke! The Syracuse University of the State of New York Now Located in New York City Naked Cowboys are coming for you! Sometime in the near future. Maybe not until 2014. But most likely soonish. Probably.