Academics? Campus Housing? Chat?! Where the hell am I?
Don’t worry. You haven’t been drugged (yet). It’s our new site. The humor is still here. Or, if you didn’t think we were funny last year, the humor is NOW here. If you still don’t think we’re funny, I can’t help you. Odds are, you’re missing the laugh chromosome.
Back to the main question: what is all this shit? How do I read an article or watch a video? Hey, dumbass, you hover over the “Humor” tab and click on whichever one you want. That stuff is still the same, just with a newer look.
As for the new content, here’s how that all works:
Academics: Let’s suppose you had a shitty professor for SOC 102 in the Spring of 2007. We’ll call him A. France. You click on “Professors” under the academics tab and voila, you can review Prof. France and talk about how he couldn’t teach a Hoya to suck. Or, you can review SOC 102 in the “Classes” section, maybe saying something like, “This class is like combining dynamite and a donkey: when all’s said and done, it blows ass.” You can give professors and classes good reviews too, we won’t judge.
Calendar: “Why the hell would I need a calendar?” you ask. Nothing is ever going on in Syracuse, right? WRONG. You’re led to believe that nothing is ever going on here because the only calendar you have access to is the one from the school, listing things like, “9th Day of Classes” and, “SU Showcase,” shit no one cares about. We’re dedicating ourselves to letting you know what’s ACTUALLY going on, both on campus and off. And if you know of something that isn’t up there but should be, add it.
Campus Housing: This section will eventually include off-campus housing as well, but for now it acts as a guide to the dorms. Which dorms suck, which dorms suck less? Which dining halls will give me the least awful case of dysentery? These are vital questions when choosing housing. We’ll also be expanding this section to include most campus buildings, letting you know that, if you enter Newhouse from University Avenue, you’re actually on the 19th floor of Lawrinson.
Parties: Where can I get drunk tonight? (Note: you’re obviously only asking this if you’re 21+ years old.) The answer is here. Cuseparty.com will tell you “Where the party at” (Fat Joe) so you can consume the most Keystone Light for your buck. We’re not listing these parties, though, so buyer beware. Still a pretty sweet deal, though.
That’s pretty much it. Quite frankly, if you couldn’t figure this all out on your own, I’m wondering how you ended up owning a computer to begin with. Enjoy the new site!