Admit it: you, like everybody else, went on a supervised tour of Syracuse University some time in your past. We all remember being herded like cattle around the quad, being told constantly that the steps of Carnegie Library led nowhere as our parents embarrassed us in front of our elder classmates. Judging by the excess... MORE »

February 10, 2012

Centro Announces, “Big Changes On The Way”

Centro has announced that changes will be made to its South Campus and Connective Corridor buses after vehicles struck pedestrians on three separate occasions in the past week. A spokesperson for Centro had this to say about the incidents; “We have been criticized in the past for the lack of timely arrival of our buses,... MORE »

January 23, 2012

Giants Kicker Thrilled to Keep Job, Not Be Publicly Ostracized

After what can only be described as a rousing roll in the mud, the New York Giants have won their way into this year’s Super Bowl. For those of you who didn’t see the game, or are not within screaming distance of any football fans, the game was decided in overtime by a Laurence Tynes... MORE »

November 29, 2011

Syracuse Police Under Investigation for Fraud

On Tuesday, the Syracuse Police Department suffered another huge hit: the Onondaga County District Attorney’s office opened an investigation into whether or not SPD is, in fact, a real police squad. “They’ve been around for hundreds of years, yet not once have I seen anyone arrested or, for that matter, even investigated,” said DA Kurt... MORE »

November 27, 2011 1 Comment

Syracuse police â€˜Too Busyâ€™ giving parking tickets to bother with Fine allegations

Mere weeks after Penn State became a nationwide spectacle, another scandal emerged in the world of college athletics, this time involving the Syracuse Orange and their basketball team’s assistant coach Bernie Fine. According to reports, allegations were brought to the Syracuse Police Department as early as 2002 accusing Mr. Fine of molesting two former ball... MORE »

November 15, 2011

DPS Discovers Black Market for Newhouse Editing Software

Department of Safety officers at Syracuse University discovered an underground black market for the distribution of popular computer software ““ used primarily in Newhouse ““ after checking on a South Campus apartment Monday afternoon. Two DPS officers conducting a routine apartment check on Small Road were surprised to find over a dozen students sitting... MORE »

November 9, 2011

Kenny: Just Bend Over Buffalo & ‘Cuse

Fucking loive this guy! MORE »

October 27, 2011

A Letter from DPS on Halloween Safety

Happy Halloween everybody! Now nobody do anything that could ever be construed as a belief or opinion! (Photo by Brian W) MORE »

October 22, 2011

Football Team Starts Admitting They’re on Football Team

In a crazy twist of events this Saturday morning, the football team has begun admitting they’re on the Syracuse University football team. After their hard-earned win against the West Virginia Mountaineers Friday night, pride was at an all time high. “I used to just say I was ‘an athlete’ when people... MORE »

October 9, 2011

Week in Review

Real World Casting: The hit MTV show “The Real World” came to Syracuse to look for future cast members. Unfortunately nobody that auditioned was New Jersey enough for the show. SU Football: We lost to Rutgers at home and play at Tulane. Where is Tulane anyway? Flu Shots: Health Services is giving out flu shots... MORE »

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