Dear Campus Basement readers, Are you curious to see who the incoming freshmen are? Do you want to hear how young and innocent they all are? Are you reminiscing when you were still in high school and were anticipating Cuse? Well you are in luck because I have recently gone undercover posing as an incoming... MORE »

March 19, 2012

Victims of Instagram cite disappointment with spring break photos as symptom

“I was having the time of my life, yknow? Off on the beaches of Puerto Rico, thinking all these inevitably gorgeous pictures I am taking will surely come out wonderfully…And then, I looked back at them and I couldn’t believe my eyes.” What junior Felicity Coughman is describing is a recent affliction among iPhone/iPad and... MORE »

March 19, 2012

Student Looking for Roommates Doesn’t Realize Nobody Wants to Live With Him

Student housing sucks, plain and simple. The one good thing about student housing is getting out of it and living with your buddies. Or, you know, that random family who doesn’t check their basement or attic enough to notice you living there… The only way to get a decent place to live, whether through the... MORE »

January 23, 2012

Giants Kicker Thrilled to Keep Job, Not Be Publicly Ostracized

After what can only be described as a rousing roll in the mud, the New York Giants have won their way into this year’s Super Bowl. For those of you who didn’t see the game, or are not within screaming distance of any football fans, the game was decided in overtime by a Laurence Tynes... MORE »

November 9, 2011

Kenny: Just Bend Over Buffalo & ‘Cuse

Fucking loive this guy! MORE »

October 27, 2011

What is a Snow?

Open up any weather app, website, or television station and you’ll see the same thing: it’s supposed to snow Halloween weekend. Now, this isn’t a big thing for upperclassmen. They’re used to these winter wonderland predictions. For freshmen however, the concept of snow has seemed to vanish from their minds as if they have... MORE »

October 22, 2011

Football Team Starts Admitting They’re on Football Team

In a crazy twist of events this Saturday morning, the football team has begun admitting they’re on the Syracuse University football team. After their hard-earned win against the West Virginia Mountaineers Friday night, pride was at an all time high. “I used to just say I was ‘an athlete’ when people... MORE »

October 9, 2011

Week in Review

Real World Casting: The hit MTV show “The Real World” came to Syracuse to look for future cast members. Unfortunately nobody that auditioned was New Jersey enough for the show. SU Football: We lost to Rutgers at home and play at Tulane. Where is Tulane anyway? Flu Shots: Health Services is giving out flu shots... MORE »

September 26, 2011

AD Cancelling Noon Football Games Because of Weak Student Section

Get out your planners, kids. Syracuse’s football schedule is receiving a midseason shake-up. After last Saturday’s feeble student turnout, when Toledo played Syracuse in the Carrier Dome, Athletic Director Darryl Gross is implementing a revolutionary strategy to get butts in seats. He is pushing back all 12 PM start times to 2 PM, effective immediately. ... MORE »

April 5, 2011

Paddy Murphy: The Ultimate Wingman

This week it has been announced by the SU sororities’, that they are “so over” Edward Cullen and “that whole vampire thing”. The ladies of SU’s Greek life have moved on to greener pastures and more mysterious men. So mysterious, that this man they’ve move on to, is in fact, a ghost. No, it’s... MORE »

Greg Robinson and Doug Marrone Wall-to-Wall

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