Two years after having the Carrier Dome football field and a state-of-the-art residence hall named in his honor, legendary Syracuse University running back Ernie Davis arose from the dead this week to have what he called a “look-see” at how his alma mater had changed since he graduated in 1962. Upon seeing the field, the residence hall and the statue on the quad built in his likeness, a puzzled Davis told Chancellor Nancy Cantor “oh…you shouldn’t have. You really, honestly shouldn’t have.”

Sources say that Davis had “the most awkward body language” and “a look on his face that would make anyone uncomfortable” after Cantor posed the question “Well, what do you think?” Officials who witnessed the query stated that Cantor had the demeanor of “a Grandmother giving a pair of socks for Christmas” while asking Davis how he felt about the memorials.

Davis later likened the feeling to “not knowing what to say after getting an expensive globe for your tenth birthday.” He added that the aforementioned memorials were simply “nice” and overall, he “appreciated the thought.”

“I mean, it’s pretty cool to have things named after you, but to have three of ‘em named after you all within a year span? I would consider that asinine,” said Davis. He added, ” Syracuse University has had many venerable alumni. I understand Vanessa Williams Hall doesn’t have a ring to it, but come on. Somebody else could have had a statue other than me…I really don’t mind.”

Chancellor Cantor reportedly thought that the trifecta of memorials were “going to blow Ern’s freakin’ mind.” After catching wind of Davis’ discontent, Cantor is planning on “bringing out the big guns” and changing the name of the school to Bert and Ernie (Davis) College.

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