2012: Year of the Dragon

Article by GnarlySkarz January 5, 2012

A lot of the world follows the standard 12-month calendar. Not this guy.  I strictly follow the Chinese Zodiac calendar. I’ve never been good at math, and this 2011/2012 stuff doesn’t work for me. It’s hard to keep up with the addition. So 2012 is the year of the Dragon. Badass. Much better than 2011’s... MORE »

Article by SupermanThatPo
January 2, 2012

The KKK Took My BigLots Away

Boonesboro, Kentucky Big Lots, Inc, often stylized as BigLots or BIG!LOTS, is a department store known for its success in selling overstock merchandise. But lately, something else has been piling up around this Fortune 500 company. That something is the Ku Klux Klan, or the KKK. Using the store’s parking lot as a moonlight meet... MORE »

Ramapo »
Article by J.D.Basement
January 2, 2012

“New Years Baby 2012” Tells Doctors, Mom, “No Thanks,” Returns to Womb

Providence, Rhode Island- “New Years Baby 2012,’ Gregory Alexander Haup has requested reentry into his mother’s uterus. Upon his emergence at 12:00:07 on the morning of January 1st, Haup took an initial survey of his new environment and made the startling decision. “Yeah, I saw what’s going on in America right now and realized I’m... MORE »

Article by S.Po.Basement
December 30, 2011

Ramapo Students Unsure Whether to Push or Pull Boundaries

A decision to remove the handicap door openers has significantly lowered attendance in classes, and participation in on-campus events. Since the removal of the buttons, students have been left dumbfounded, and unable to open doors. When presented with the obstacle of walking through a door, the ordinary thing to do for a Ramapo College student,... MORE »

Ramapo »
Article by GnarlySkarz
December 29, 2011

Father Judges Wet Tee-Shirt Contest, Daughter doesn’t win.

When the child is 21 years old is it too late to call Dyphus? This question was raised by many attendees at New Rock’s annual holiday party. The party is usually a good reason for students to find their way out of the books and into the bar scene, yet this year the tension was... MORE »

Article by SupermanThatPo
December 28, 2011

American Students Repeat History: British Exchange Students Defeated at local Bar Brawl

Suffern, NY. If you’re a student at Ramapo College, you know that New Rock, a local bar in Suffern, New York, is the (only) place to be on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Shuttle service, cheap drinks, and a dance floor entice hundreds of Ramapo students to attend the venue. The local fare is almost exclusively... MORE »

Article by J.D.Basement
December 27, 2011

The Calm Before the Storm: As Grade Postings are Due to Arrive in the Next Couple Days, Ramapo Braces Itself For Worst Facebook Bragging in Years

Mahwah, NJ- Sure, it seems harmless enough right now. Innocent status updates about Christmas gifts and post-holiday activities. While the world of Facebook currently remains calm, thousands of Ramapo students are preparing for one of the worst Facebook Brag storms this school has ever seen. With the release of final grades scheduled to post in... MORE »

Ramapo »
Picture by SupermanThatPo
December 27, 2011

You’ve Driven on a Street, Road, Drive, Blvd, but ever a Waddy?

You’ve driven on a Street, a Road, a Drive, a Blvd, maybe even a Lane. But have you ever driven on a Waddy? Probably not, because this one, located in Northern New Jersey, is the only one in the entire United States. MORE »

Article by SupermanThatPo
December 26, 2011

Ramapo Arms Students with Floppy Yellow Spears

You might have seen floppy yellow poles scattered around the Senior Village at Ramapo College, and wondered what their purpose could be. Well… While the administration may tell you it’s a smart way to keep snow plows from plowing over the grass this winter (or October), it’s actually a strategic initiative implemented by Ramapo’s new,... MORE »

Article by J.D.Basement
December 26, 2011

ASB Student Unsure Whether Classmate is Hot or Just “Group Project Hot”

Mahwah, NJ- In a stunning turn of events, Ramapo College communications major, Donny Rogers has deemed himself incapable of determining if that blonde chick in his class is hot by regular standards, or if it’s only because she is in a group project with him.  “She’s easily the hottest girl in class,” Rogers told reporters... MORE »