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You’ve Driven on a Street, Road, Drive, Blvd, but ever a Waddy?
You've driven on a Street, a Road, a Drive, a Blvd, maybe even a Lane. But have you ever driven on a Waddy? Probably not, because this one, located in Northern New Jersey, is the only one in the entire United States.
Ramapo 2013 Commencement Speaker Announced: The Janitor Who Worked In Steve Jobs’ Accountant’s Office
Mahwah, NJ- After literally grueling and unbearable anticipation, Ramapo College has finally announced the 2013 Commencement Ceremony Speaker. It’s official: the 2013 Commencement Speaker will be The Janitor Who Worked In Steve Jobs’ Accountant’s Office. President Mercer told us exclusively, “this is literally the only guy that said yes.” He furthered that even the Butler... MORE »
Relive The Worst Parts of Campus Life One Last Time
MAHWAH, NJ – In an effort to make your winter break even better Student Affairs is holding a “Forget This Stuff” workshop in Friends Hall this Friday at 7pm. The event brings together all the frustrating things about Ramapo College life and lets you do them one last time just to remind yourself how much... MORE »
December Just Wants to be Hot Like Victoria’s Secret Angels
The day after the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show is one of the most hated days of the year for guys and girls alike. Guys must force out lie after lie about how they’d still date their girlfriends over an underwear model and girls everywhere suddenly pretend to care about going to the gym. Though... MORE »
Snow Removal Delay Due To Official’s ‘New Perspective’
MAHWAH, NJ – Students and faculty were confused by the slow pace of Ramapo’s usually speedy snow crew. After the snow had started to come down heavily a little before noon this past Tuesday, commuters and dorming students alike wondered why it was taking so long to clear the areas. “Last semester the hill by... MORE »
Jersey Devil To Have Thanksgiving With The Abramowitz Family
MAHWAH, NJ – History was made today as The Jersey Devil officially came out of eternal hiding in the deep woods of New Jersey. After taking a heavy beating from Sandy and Irene the past two years, the Jersey Devil is reportedly “fed up” with living in the woods. He exited the forest near a... MORE »
Flu Season at Ramapo College
MAHWAH, NJ – Ramapo has a small campus which is good and bad. A smaller campus means shorter walks and more chances of running into friends. But a smaller space during this time of year also means more chances to get sick. Most students prefer to vomit from tequila rather than influenza. Ariel Crewes, assistant... MORE »
President Mercer Pissed Gangnam Style ‘Ripped Him Off’
MAHWAH, NJ – Ramapo College’s President Mercer is reportedly “pissed” at Korean pop sensation, Psy, claiming that his hit song, “Gangnam Style”, was stolen from Mercer himself. The President came directly to Ramapo Basement to set the record straight and spread the word that “Gangnam Style” was his idea first: it was originally called “Mercer Style”... MORE »
A New Hope: Finding Open Classes After Registration
Registration hell week has finally ended, but chances are you have been left in tears. As expected, the Spring 2013 semester wasn’t offering more than three of the classes you need for your major, and two of them already exceeded their max capacity. You were thinking of knocking out your science gen ed with one... MORE »
Spring 2013 Registration Begins at Ramapo College
Registration for the Spring 2013 semester began this Tuesday. With finals approaching and popular sections filling up quickly, what does Ramapo think? “As a Women’s Studies major I approach my schedule with the mindset that… blahblahblah.” Kerri-Ann Taylor Senior, Women’s Studies major “While you’re logged... MORE »
Votes Considered Invalid Unless Instagrammed
Happy post Election Day everyone! For reasons other than Obama’s reelection and the legalization of gay marriage and marijuana in certain states, yesterdays’s events will change America forever. After an astonishingly large amount of participation, congress has decided to pass new legislation stating that the 2016 presidential election votes will be counted based on the... MORE »
Not So Model Behavior at Ramapo
Weekdays between 1:00 pm and 2:00 pm, Ramapo’s sole express dining facility, the Atrium, also known as the Payment Cafeteria, or Pay-Caf, experiences an influx of students. While eating lunch between class, one can be certain that they will be surrounded by a mixed bag of demographics that they wouldn’t ordinarily come in contact with.... MORE »
How To Spend Your Leap Day 2012
Unbeknownst to people, unbeknownst is a real word. But also unbeknownst to most people is the fact that Leap Day is a major world holiday. I learned this while watching NBC’s highly acclaimed police drama “30 Rock”. The episode, entitled “Leap Day”, taught me that nothing you do matters on this day, which comes around... MORE »
The Piggyback Bandit Is Coming to Town
If you haven’t heard by now, a man named Sherwin Shayegan has made quite the reputation for himself in the world of high school sports. Standing at 5-foot-8, 240-pounds, The Washington State native attends High School sporting events, often dressed in the proper athletic uniform, with a single goal in mind. “He helped lay out... MORE »
Breaking News: Guys and Girls CAN Be Just Friends
The great question of “can guys and girls be just friends?’ is often answered with roaring controversy. Most women say sure, of course they can. Most men say hell mother fucking no, they cannot. Unbalanced emotion, confusion, desperation, horniness, and drunkenness often complicate the issue. As we learned in Sex Ed, guys and girls have... MORE »
Incredible New Scholarships Available at Ramapo!
Ramapo College offers a variety of scholarship and financial aid opportunities to its entering, undergraduate and graduate students. In an effort to continue pushing boundaries, Ramapo will now feature five new exciting annual scholarships, tailored to the needs of the students. The Hoboken Visitational Scholarship, $500 -age 21 or older -wish to complete experiential... MORE »
A Comparative Analysis in Kindness: Utah vs New Jersey
Having recently spent a week in Utah, I noticed that the culture was incredibly different than that of New Jersey. From the bars closing at 1:00 a.m. to the insane amount of Mormons boasting their multi-wived households, most situations were handled quite differently out West. Walking by a stranger: Utah: You are greeted with a... MORE »
Ramapo Basement Instantly More Popular Than “Daily Digest”
If you’re a student at Ramapo College, you’ve at least heard of the infamous Daily Digest, a daily newsletter sent out to the entire student body via email. Popping up around 3:00am, the overloaded, unimportant press is better known for being instantly deleted than actually read. Ramapo Basement has made it their goal to become... MORE »
The KKK Took My BigLots Away
Boonesboro, Kentucky Big Lots, Inc, often stylized as BigLots or BIG!LOTS, is a department store known for its success in selling overstock merchandise. But lately, something else has been piling up around this Fortune 500 company. That something is the Ku Klux Klan, or the KKK. Using the store’s parking lot as a moonlight meet... MORE »
American Students Repeat History: British Exchange Students Defeated at local Bar Brawl
Suffern, NY. If you’re a student at Ramapo College, you know that New Rock, a local bar in Suffern, New York, is the (only) place to be on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Shuttle service, cheap drinks, and a dance floor entice hundreds of Ramapo students to attend the venue. The local fare is almost exclusively... MORE »
Ramapo Arms Students with Floppy Yellow Spears
You might have seen floppy yellow poles scattered around the Senior Village at Ramapo College, and wondered what their purpose could be. Well… While the administration may tell you it’s a smart way to keep snow plows from plowing over the grass this winter (or October), it’s actually a strategic initiative implemented by Ramapo’s new,... MORE »
Women’s Center
Ramapo College’s Women’s Center sells 10 cent condoms for students. This video parodies two freshmen’s fear of the type of women that work in such a Center as they attempt to buy condoms… MORE »
Santa Only Servicing Jews for 2011 Christmas Season Due to Economic Recession
If you pray to the infamous Jesus Christ and were expecting Santa to slide down your chimney this December, keep your partridge in your pear tree, folks, “cause it’s not happening. December 25, 2011 marks just the second time this has ever happened. The first time was on the 13th day of Abib, 33 AD,... MORE »