You’re having a great day at work delivering pizza for
Nonna’s (Sonny and Tony’s, NY Pizza, Jersey Boys, Etc.) The constant flow of good tips is keeping a
smile on your face. Then it happens. A delivery 15 minutes away deep into the
Ramapough Mountain to deliver to the Jackson Whites.

You begin your ascent up the mountain as the stench of
incest draws near. You travel another ten miles up the hill as your eyes begin
to tell the story. In plain site is a pair of clearly handicapped twins having
missionary sex.

“Make me your bitch brother. Let’s make more babies,” you
hear the female cry out over you blasting Take Care on your knockoff Sony
speakers. As you struggle to locate the house you’re supposed to deliver to you
come to the realization that you must approach the lovers in order to get to your

“Excuse me”, you say. “Can you help me find Jim?”

“Ohhhhhhh yesssss”, the brother fucker screams out. “Second
house on the rightttttttttttttttttttttttt.”

You approach the front steps and
see the door already propped open. You walk inside and see chopped fingers on
the cutting board and a large bowl of pubic hair on the kitchen table. A fat
whore approaches you and pays you for the plain pizza. She tips you in finger
nails and human shit and you’re on your way.

As you get back to the pizza
parlor you tell your boss that you can’t work anymore because your car isn’t reliable.
On to the next one.