The day after the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show is one of the most hated days of the year for guys and girls alike. Guys must force out lie after lie about how they’d still date their girlfriends over an underwear model and girls everywhere suddenly pretend to care about going to the gym. Though you may not know it, someone else is feeling a little down this year after watching the show: the month of December. December is known for being an annoyingly windy and cold winter month, adding insult to the injury of finals for students. Inspired by last night’s pummeling of female body image, December is refusing to let it’s temperatures go below 45 degrees.
Students are showing a positive reaction to December’s plan. A record amount of Ramapo goers are enjoying the weather and staying outside longer than usual. Heavy winter jackets are being shed for cardigans and hoodies, and some brave souls are even venturing to wear summertime clothes. Sadly, this includes the return of jorts, but certain sacrifices must be made.
The month already has some high hopes for the season. “January and February became really hot last year, and these Victoria’s Secret girls put me over the edge. I knew it was time to get my act together,” remarks December about it’s new temperature standards, “My goal is to get some cute guys on the beach like June and July can.” While we doubt it will ever get that hot, we are impressed by how much it’s already heated up.
December admits that it is not the only one feeling a little insecure after last night’s fashion show. Barbara Palvin’s sexy display of red and white has put Santa Claus on edge about his own pudgy appearance. Santa comments that he hasn’t looked that good in centuries, and requests that children leave him some celery sticks and vitamin water opposed to the usual milk and cookies this year.