Mahwah, NJ- Sure, it seems harmless enough right now.
Innocent status updates about Christmas gifts and post-holiday activities.
While the world of Facebook currently remains calm, thousands of Ramapo
students are preparing for one of the worst Facebook Brag storms this school
has ever seen. With the release of final grades scheduled to post in the next
couple days, we can expect to see torrential downpours of people relaying
academic information that we don’t give a shit about.
Forecasters have predicted a devastating magnitude of nearly
125 posts/hr when the storm finally reaches land. “We just don’t know how much arrogant
bullshit these Facebook walls can take. They were built back in 2003,” remarked
Conceiteorologist, Jim Bowen.
Experts have recommended Facebook users at Ramapo College
find higher ground for the next couple days. Veteran storm chaser, Albert Bunson points to Linkedin and Foursquare
as potential sanctuaries. “For the most part, students aren’t as inclined to
inform these communities of their second straight semester on Dean’s list.”
Early speculations indicate that profile updates will return
to Facebook-status quo by the weekend, when students begin posting about New
Years Eve in the city at an overpriced bar with a shitty DJ.