Cornell Economists Determine Jesus Christ’s Patronage of Tim Tebow to be “Inefficient” and “Not conducive to solving legitimate world problems.”

Article by dang December 18, 2011

Ithaca NY””Economists working in Cornell’s Policy Analysis Lab have recently discovered several flaws in Jesus Christ’s social policies. The economists, studying everything from theological infrastructures to econometrics, published a journal article last Monday noting discrepancies between Jesus Christ’s “plans for all creatures on earth” and football.  The team learned that Jesus invested too much of... MORE »

Article by maxmartinez
July 30, 2012

Cornell to Buy Joe Paterno Statue for $10 Million

With all the drama that just occurred, Penn State was fined $60 million dollars by the NCAA, with all proceeds going to charities benefitting abused children. To pay for this fine without affecting tuition costs for current students, Penn State held a silent auction for the legendary Joe Paterno statue on Monday. The winning bid... MORE »

Article by Piliour
February 22, 2011

Syracuse Basketball to Move to Big Sky Conference

The Orange have had it with the turmoil in the Big East. “Everyone knows what happens,” said Athletic Director Daryl Gross. “Every single year, we go undefeated in non-conference play and then we get to the Big East and every game is a slaughter. Literally.” Added Gross, “There’s no winner in our conference, just a... MORE »

Picture by Anonymous
September 6, 2010

Old School SU Cheerleader

Check out for awesome old pictures of SU. I’m talking 1918 old! MORE »

Article by Sheldon J
February 3, 2011

Bitchin Music Thursday – Lil Wayne, Shwayze, Acoolstick and that rodent Phil

I dont know how Im writing this right now, being Goodburger is on and then right after is a new jersey shore plus Im making this dope ass bracelet thats taking forever but is totally worth it. But I have to being that its been a really good week so far. Lets recap: 1. Remember... MORE »

Article by Becca Grumet
November 29, 2011

My Scooter, Why Have You Forsaken Me?

I was really sad to hear this past weekend about my um, friend, who took a tumble on her beloved scooter, especially after my October announcement that scooters were making a comeback on campus. As I understand it, the once flawless beauty was coasting through the intersection of Jefferson and McClintock Friday night when the... MORE »

Article by jwoww
December 31, 2010

Happy New Year from Cornell Basement!

Ah yes, it’s that time again – one year comes to a close and makes way for an even better one to follow. At midnight, we’ll ring in the new year in style no matter where we are: some of us will be vomiting on the sidewalk outside the bar, some of us will be... MORE »

Article by Max Lehman
November 30, 2011

Hofstra Scrats

     There is a dark beast running free somewhere among the Hofstra campus. Its strength is in its numbers. Its deformity is in its cute ugly face riddle with whiskers and lifeless, black eyes. It has been around as long as Hofstra has beens a university, perhaps longer. It plays with yarn, and gets fur... MORE »