Passive Aggression Runs Rampant Across Campus

Article by BGates February 4, 2013

This past Thursday afternoon, campus police were dispatched to break up a fight that started in the bookstore.  Witness reports state that the fight began when a 5’3” white female walked past another 5’4” white female without any visible recognition of the latter despite their past friendship.  Reportedly, the two had been friends up until... MORE »

Article by Becca Grumet
October 11, 2011

Alternative Spring Break Seeks Motivated Students for New Program

The USC Volunteer Center is seeking driven students for their new Alternative Spring Break program in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. Students will be selected from a competitive pool of applicants with several rounds of interviews. Those few chosen will be flown to the world-renowned, 4.5 star Travelocity rated SANDALS BEACH RESORT. Once there, spring breakers will... MORE »

Article by loganor
February 22, 2012

The Poop Scoop

Anyone with roommates knows the frustration of the A.M. Bathroom Shuffle. That smelly game of musical chairs where you want to take time for your morning ablutions, but you want to avoid the stench of the morning deuce that preceded yours. Sometimes, you lose this game. Sometimes, you have to brave the wild and lawless... MORE »

Article by Roy Parker
November 11, 2011

11 Surefire Signs the World is Going to End on 11/11/11

Today is 11/11/11, the most monumentally exciting and important day since 10/10/10 simply because since the world didn’t end then, it most surely will end today, right?   Right.   But just in case you’re skeptical about the sure destruction of the Earth, below is your checklist of occurrences that will ensure that today is... MORE »

Article by Lia Woodward
March 19, 2012

USC scientists find causality between Impact font and laughter

Science finally got to the bottom of the text-superimposed-over-image meme appeal, and it could not have happened sooner. To everyone’s surprise and delight, the humor in a meme has nothing to do with the content and everything to do with the font. “Believe it or not, the human brain actually functions in fonts. For example,... MORE »

Article by Piliour
September 6, 2011

Report: Film students don’t know what ‘meta’ actually means

A recent study conducted by the Committee of People Who Hate Douchebag Film Majors (But Not All Film Majors, Just the Douchebag Ones) revealed that the committee needs to change its name. It’s too long. That same study also revealed an even more revealing revelation: a whopping 99% of film majors use the term “meta”... MORE »

Article by dang
April 21, 2011

Cornell Administrators Forget Annual Child Sacrifice: Mother Nature Not Pleased

     Cornellians were quite upset this morning when they woke up to clouds showering snow. Many students who thought winter ended in march were displeased by the inclement weather on the Hill.       In an attempt to dissuade prospective students from worrying about the weather, Day Hall in conjunction with the Department of... MORE »