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An Email Thread of Indecisive Students Trying to Plan Spring Break (Mizzou)
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Carefully checking her makeup using the selfie-mode of her iPhone 4s, Mary hides behind a trash can, lying in wait for the moment when Freshmen tight end Jack (whose name has been changed for his own personal safety) leaves his room, at which point she will pop up and accidentally bump into him, thus striking... MORE »
Apparently this happens a lot. It’s still cool. MORE »
Shortly before President Obama was elected into office the nation was racked with fear that he might be of the Islamic faith. Now, with the 2012 election looming, it appears that Obama’s religion will be questioned once more. What voters need to know, however, is that there are more pressing issues regarding Obama that must... MORE »
In a recent study conducted by Mizzou Basement staff and collaboratively supervised and published by the Harvard University Press, CERN, The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives, and Vladimir Putin’s cabinet, it appears that the writers and photo artists at Mizzou Basement can write their articles and photoshop under the influence of alcoholic beverages... MORE »
Dorial Greene-Beckham, Mizzou’s new football pride and joy, may have gotten most of the recognition, but he wasn’t the only one recently picked up by Mizzou. Mizzou also received the ESPNU’s 387th ranked player, Gene Troust, and he claims he deserves recognition as well. “I have worked so hard to play football in college, and... MORE »
A beach volleyball watch party scheduled for August has been planned as a collaborative effort by Columbia men and 8th grade boys. The party, scheduled in anticipation of the women’s beach volleyball Olympic event, is expected to take place at Cale Richards’ parents’ house. Richards, 13, has been anticipating the event for over three years.... MORE »
This Spring semester, hundreds of Mizzou students will pack their luggage along with their preconceived notions and fly off to exotic locales, where they will be immersed in a different culture as part of the study abroad program. Whether it’s sipping Bordeaux in France or zip-lining in Brazil, these students are guaranteed new experiences as... MORE »
In the last few years, left-handed people everywhere rejoiced as their right to enter into marriage finally became legalized in states like Iowa and New York, and as their right to serve openly in the military became protected under President Obama. However, those rights are now under fresh assault. Previously, left-handed people were not allowed... MORE »
Tim Heidecker, one half of the comedy due Tim and Erik, can no longer contain his deep, throbbing passion for whom he refers to as his lord and master, Herman Cain. After attempting to earn favor with Cain via twitter, Heidecker is now looking to gain Cain’s attention with his new EP, Cainthology: Songs in... MORE »
So youâre failing. Before you drop out of college to sell weed and homemade crafts out of the trunk of your car, see if your professor can be persuaded to pad your grade. 1. Start in the obvious place â by stroking your professorâs massive ego. Linger after class to impress... MORE »
I’ve been at Mizzou for a month now, and have arrived at the conclusion people here just don’t get me. And since I’ve tried posting dramatic song lyrics as my Facebook status, tweeting about how I need plans in the hopes someone will make them with me, and standing out in Speakers Circle with a... MORE »