An Email Thread of Indecisive Students Trying to Plan Spring Break (Mizzou)
In the last few years, left-handed people everywhere rejoiced as their right to enter into marriage finally became legalized in states like Iowa and New York, and as their right to serve openly in the military became protected under President Obama. However, those rights are now under fresh assault. Previously, left-handed people were not allowed... MORE »
“Add sheet? Add sheet! Just a guy handing out Add sheets. Who likes a bargain? I know I do. Add sheet! They’re free! Coupons for over a hundred of you’re favorite stores in the greater Columbia area!” “Add sheet? No? Add sheet! No? Here, take an add sheet!….Do what? To myself? That’s not even possible... MORE »
A recent study conducted by the University of Missouri revealed a new trend in the business world where companies are making employment decisions based on the clothing that applicants wear. The study, conducted over an eighteen-month period, yielded unexpected results for the researchers. “The most important traits for hiring new employees have pretty much remained... MORE »
Today, during a press conference that nobody asked for, several doctoral candidates of Sociology and Political Science at the University of Missouri cited the Social Justice Freshmen Interest Group program, or FIG for short, as an inspiration for their further pursuits. The FIG meets once every week for an hour to discuss issues that mostly... MORE »
An Asian-American student received the Mizzou Patience Medal Wednesday for his sustained tolerance of his fraternity’s intolerance. The student, James Suzuki, is a member of the Alpha Sigma Sigma fraternity. The junior said that he was honored to be recognized, but understands that medal won’t change a damn thing. “It’s really great being recognized,” he... MORE »
Dear NCAA Selection Committee, I know on paper we might not look that impressive. I know that our out of conference schedule wasn’t as good as some of our competitors, but don’t sleep on SEMO. Regardless, I think we did pretty alright. We beat some good teams on our way to a Big XII tournament... MORE »
This week, CBS News reported that *Missouri was the eleventh fattest state* (*Make this a hyperlink to the news story*) in the continental U.S., as well as the entire union. As expected, many state and federal law makers were upset with the unflattering distinction. The number 11 tag shows a continuing, frustrating trend within Missouri:... MORE »
Speaker’s Circle on the University of Missouri campus has never seemed so quiet, as Gonga, the accordion-playing gorilla, and Penguin, his drummer/bird counterpart, split up Tuesday afternoon after a disagreement over creative control of their music. Sources said the duo had been fighting over creative control ever since they started playing together. “Gonga like to... MORE »
For the first time in 924 days, Tiger Woods won a PGA Tour event. The victory took place at the Arnold Palmer Invitational in Tiger’s hometown of Orlando, where he finished 13 under par. This unfolded just days after Woods was spotted at a local strip club for the first time since his sex scandal... MORE »
