The entire scientific community
held its collective breath last week when the most complete Stegosaurus fossil
yet discovered was announced via press release.
press release reported that the nearly complete remains of the 27-foot armored
stegosaurid dinosaur were discovered on a kitchen floor in Columbia, MO.
there was never a precedent for the discovery of Stegosaurus outside of limestone
quarries in Colorado, much less on a suburban kitchen floor, I was initially
dubious. But a press release is a press release,” local paleontologist Thag
“dubious” feeling was soon confirmed when the paleontologist who made the
discovery, Tommy Paige, 8, came under fire by a Smithsonian inquest.
reported complete stegosaurid fossil was revealed to be, under close
examination, whole pieces of Cheerio brand oat cereal with broken bits of
Cheerio brand oat cereal,” Smithsonian Director of Science and 2007 BET
Humanitarian of the Year Award winner Don Cheadle said, “This is the kind of
deception that we strive to eradicate in the modern scientific world.”
Paige has few defenders in his field, but he does have one loud supporter on
the home front:
even caught him on camera? It wasn’t me! I mean him! His twitter account was
hacked! The fossil said it was over 18 [million] years old!” Homeowner and
Mother Terry Paige said.
fall out from the incident could forever mare the burgeoning Columbia fossil
scene, in addition to adding to the stigma of pre-pubescent paleontologists in
is why we can’t have nice things,” paleontologist Alex O’Doyle, 10, said.
O’Doyle made headlines last year when the complete canis lupushe unearthed was positively identified via dog-tag as
the late family dog Patches.
is about providing answers. Because of my discovery, the owners of the farm in
Nebraska where my parents brought Patches will finally learn that he escaped
and tragically died trying to come back to us. “Cheerio Paleontology’ is a
dangerous sub-faction that subverts our whole mission,” O’Doyle said.
the discovery may have been a hoax, science’s unstoppable search for answers
was “Ice Tray’ in five episodes of “Fresh Prince’,” Cheadle said.