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Jake’s Movie Monday: Mizzou Basement Promo

Video by JakeWallach

March 17, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Promo within a promo within a promo

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◄ Hey Man, can you watch my stuff?

Sh*t Brandeis Students Don’t Say Part 2 ►

February 24, 2012

Image macro posted to Facebook definitively (proves/disproves) existence of God

At 10:03 PM Eastern Time last night, freshman Logan Nogouche posted an image macro (picture with overlaid-text) to the popular social networking site MySpace that once and for all ended the existence of God debate. The particular image was simply a picture of (Jesus/Richard Dawkins) with an overlaid (Bible verse/Richard Dawkins quote). However,... MORE »

May 2, 2012

An open letter to Schurz Hall

Schurz Hall, you’ve meant so much to me. The ways that you’ve changed me are innumerable, the ways you’ve protected me are admirable, and the ways that you’ve touched me are unforgettable. I’ve been in your throws for almost an entire school year now, and our relationship is so blissfully intimate. Schurz Hall, I don’t... MORE »

March 19, 2012

Study: anyone who has eaten red meat ever died or probably will soon

In recent weeks, multiple studies have been published and widely publicized about how Red Meat relates to the mortality rate of those who consume it. The study showed that eating unprocessed Red Meat raised the mortality risk by 13% and processed by 20%. However, yesterday a far more troubling study was released: the mortality rate... MORE »

November 9, 2011

Mizzou MLS group uses Direct Action Protest by toking up

“Hey man, legalize marijuana, it’s like, really important to the world.” In Speaker’s Circle this past Monday, the Marijuana Legalization Support (MLS) group waiting good-naturedly to pass out flyers and brownies to the eager stoner students. But as hours flew by, bystanders could tell the groups members became more and more giggly, carefree and red... MORE »

March 26, 2012

Reasons I Love Living in Missouri….

Saw this license plate on the way to the airport. #prolifeswag! MORE »

November 7, 2011

Residence Hall quarantine enters third week

Schurz Residence Hall, on the east side of campus, has been under Code Orange quarantine status for over 15 days. Center for Disease Control (CDC) investigators and Mizzou Health officials have recently discovered the pathogen responsible for the outbreak, which at first was believed to be Scabies. “I... MORE »

April 26, 2012

The Biggest Bullshitter Tournament

It’s getting toward the end of the year, and my writers are getting bored as shit. So, this is what I’ve come up with to occupy their time. It’s a little contest I like to call, “The Biggest Bullshiter.” And yes, I’m aware that’s not grammatically correct. I’ve given each writer a mythical creature to... MORE »

January 19, 2012

Cheaters, plagiarists fear SOPA will censor essays

The Internet flexed its big, manly muscles at Congress yesterday as many popular sites blacked out in the middle of the week, which happens to the best of us. Their “protests” were meant to warn and inform citizens of the dangers of SOPA and PIPA, two bills currently being discussed that are meant to protect... MORE »

November 9, 2012

Romney Retaliates: GOP candidate buys Canada, leads supporters to the Promise Land

After losing Tuesday night’s presidential election, GOP candidate Willard “Mitt” Romney bought the pseudo-nation of Canada, renaming it “Romnasia” and calling upon his followers- the “good Republican people of America” to leave their homes and start a new life in the land known by many as “America’s backwoods.” “I’ve never seen him so angry before,... MORE »

December 11, 2011

Mizzou Students Prepare to Study Abroad… In New York?

This Spring semester, hundreds of Mizzou students will pack their luggage along with their preconceived notions and fly off to exotic locales, where they will be immersed in a different culture as part of the study abroad program. Whether it’s sipping Bordeaux in France or zip-lining in Brazil, these students are guaranteed new experiences as... MORE »

October 25, 2012

Sorority Girl Stunned After Not Being Nominated for Academy Award For Homecoming Skit

A University of Missouri student and member of the Delta Kappa Rho sorority was shocked yesterday when she was not nominated for an Academy Award. Julie Anne Drew starred in “Sonata de Truman,” the 1790s-themed production of Delta Kappa Rho, Alpha Sigma Sigma, and Rho Rho Rho. Drew procrastinated her hospitality management homework... MORE »

October 15, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Blind Date

September 24, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Milk

September 10, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: The Big News

May 2, 2012

A Tribute To Brad

April 30, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Missing Friend

April 27, 2012

How To Deliver A Speech At Speaker’s Circle: Science

April 27, 2012

The Biggest Bullshitter: Gargoyles

You gasp for air for a couple seconds, and than he puts you right back in. The toilet water smells like a combination of asparagus piss and sparrow semen. Although, you’re not even that mad about it, and you know why? The man that is shoving your frail head into the toilet, Bobby the Gargoyle.... MORE »

April 25, 2012

Cheaters, plagiarists fear SOPA will censor essays

The Syllabus to Syllabus Week

Romney Wipes Santorum off the Map

How To Deliver a Speech at Speaker's Circle: God Hates The Seattle Supersonics

Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week; Can I pee in your butt??

Jones Hall Brothel Busted

MU Bookstore now accepting Confederate money

So-Called 'Nazi Parking Meter Maid' Recently Promoted to 'Festungoberwerkmeister'

Jake’s Movie Monday: Mizzou Basement Promo

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