Jones Hall Brothel Busted

Article by carolineoreilly November 2, 2012

Four individuals were arrested late Tuesday evening in conjunction with the bust of a brothel run out of Jones Residence Hall. The four, all Resident Assistants, were arrested and taken into custody after an undercover operation successfully infiltrated the establishment and discovered the Jones Hall Brothel, an operation feautring blocs of rooms on every floor... MORE »

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Article by kevinmodelski
October 31, 2012

North Korea reunites with South Korea after watching “Gangnam Style” YouTube video

Although it seems too good to be true, North Korea and South Korea have decided to reunite with each other after North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un finally watched the popular “Gangnam Style” music video by South Korean rapper Psy. Jong-Un met with South Korean Prime Minister Kim Hwang-Sik yesterday to sign a pact that would... MORE »

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Article by connorc23
October 26, 2012

Dorm Homecoming Barbecue Defies Odds, Is Rousing Success

Year after year, the students and faculty at The University of Missouri expect the Greek community to dominate Homecoming festivities. This tradition was finally put to rest in the wake of a totally sick dorm Homecoming barbecue at Defoe-Graham Residence Hall. Defoe-Graham’s residents, and those from surrounding dorms, were polled prior to the event, and... MORE »

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Article by JakeWallach
October 25, 2012

Sorority Girl Stunned After Not Being Nominated for Academy Award For Homecoming Skit

    A University of Missouri student and member of the Delta Kappa Rho sorority was shocked yesterday when she was not nominated for an Academy Award. Julie Anne Drew starred in “Sonata de Truman,” the 1790s-themed production of Delta Kappa Rho, Alpha Sigma Sigma, and Rho Rho Rho. Drew procrastinated her hospitality management homework... MORE »

Article by Mitch Finnegan
October 24, 2012

MU students suspect nicotine as Baja’s secret ingredient

Below the Hatch and Schurz residence rests a beautiful gem, an in-and-out restaurant named Baja. Virtually hidden from plain sight on the very edge of campus, it would appear Baja would have to do some serious advertising to get any business at all. Simply by word of mouth, Baja has flourished into a remarkably convenient... MORE »

Article by natkirst
October 23, 2012

Pizza Party Convinces All MU Students To Stop Drinking

Last Friday, in honor of alcohol responsibility month the Wellness Resource Center held a pizza party where they served up slices, soda and a slew of awesome facts about the dangers of alcohol. This event has been hailed the most successful event of all time, managing to convince every MU student, regardless of age, to... MORE »

Article by drewthegoose
October 23, 2012

Freshman Dies in Homecoming Pomping Accident

A University of Missouri freshman died Monday after excessive tissue paper pomping. Robby Slawson, the victim in the accident, was pronounced dead by paramedics at 2 a.m. on Monday. Initial reports indicate that Slawson died from a combination of dehydration, exhaustion, asphyxiation and severe flatulence. “It was a big mess…just, really really nasty,” fraternity brother... MORE »

Article by kevinmodelski
October 19, 2012

Third Presidential Debate cancelled; Presidential Cage Match to be held instead

Only a few days after the second Presidential debate between President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney, the third debate was cancelled and will be replaced with the first ever Presidential Cage Fight. The United States Debate Organizer Squad (USDOS) conceived the idea after watching Romney and Obama exchange trash talk during the previous debate,... MORE »

Article by Chris Varney
October 18, 2012

Fraternity refuses to suspend uranium enrichment program despite sanctions

   Another round of negotiations fell through between the Tau Kappa Chi (TKX) Fraternity and the United Nations concerning TKX’s uranium enrichment program Wednesday. This most recent round of negotiations appears to be the last as neither side is willing to make concessions. The fraternity and the UN have been in talks since UN weapons... MORE »

Article by drewthegoose
October 17, 2012

Student Donates Blood to Save Money on Alcohol

A student at the University of Missouri donated blood Monday to save money on his alcoholic expenditures. Albert Coholic, a sophomore business major, gave blood at Mizzou’s annual homecoming blood drive. Coholic said that he has been waiting all year to make his donation. “I care a lot about the welfare of others and shit,”... MORE »