-
Campus Basement Newsletter!
-
It's #Follow THURSDAY
Follow @campusbasement -
Partners
-
A Simple JIRA Mobile App that kicks ass! - 21 alcohol basketball beer boeheim campus christmas classes college Cornell dorms dps drinking drunk facebook featured finals food fraternities frats freshmen funny girls greek halloween holidays library love money movies music otto parties politics professors sex snow sororities sports students student sketches washu weather winter women
How to Suck Up to Your Professor
So youâre failing. Before you drop out of college to sell weed and homemade crafts out of the trunk of your car, see if your professor can be persuaded to pad your grade. 1. Start in the obvious place â by stroking your professorâs massive ego. Linger after class to impress... MORE »
Mizzou’s 11/11/11 Ball Drop
Happy 11/11/11! Also, Veteran’s Day! This is somehow related… MORE »
MU Greek GPA’s Plummet Due to Adderall Shortage
Three things and three things alone dictate the survival of the residents in greek town; sex, adderall and beer. With finals threatening to surface in a month, frequent trips to gas stations all around Columbia have become a must in order to stock up on Natural Light. Wall’s of shame have transformed into... MORE »
Jay””I mean, Big Sean comes to Mizzou
Massive confusion abounded last Thursday at Jesse Hall among lovers of the Shakespearean art form of rappery. Thousands of students piled in to the auditorium expecting to listen to the soft, whiney crooning of Jay Sean’s “baby, are you down, down, down, down, down.” What they got, however, was nothing of the sort. Big... MORE »
Mizzou MLS group uses Direct Action Protest by toking up
“Hey man, legalize marijuana, it’s like, really important to the world.” In Speaker’s Circle this past Monday, the Marijuana Legalization Support (MLS) group waiting good-naturedly to pass out flyers and brownies to the eager stoner students. But as hours flew by, bystanders could tell the groups members became more and more giggly, carefree and red... MORE »
MUPD Confirms Ellis Library Arson “A real weirdo”
After compiling all the facts of the case and arresting Christopher Kelly, who turned himself in after being caught on nearly every single camera in the library (most of them catching detailed shots of his facial features), Mizzou police have confirmed Kelly is completely nuts. According the police report*, Kelly set 10 different fires... MORE »
Residence Hall quarantine enters third week
Schurz Residence Hall, on the east side of campus, has been under Code Orange quarantine status for over 15 days. Center for Disease Control (CDC) investigators and Mizzou Health officials have recently discovered the pathogen responsible for the outbreak, which at first was believed to be Scabies. “I... MORE »
Poetic Ode to the D-Bag In Lecture
To the shmuck in the front row, Always questioning or conversing with the professor, And supplying more than a “yes” or “no” answer. To the wannabe professor’s pet, This, right here, is what’s called a general education course. Meaning, it does nothing more than fulfill a pointless need. To the jagoff front and left-center, No... MORE »
MU transitioning to ‘Cool Free’ campus
There are some invariable and inescapable facts about smoking tobacco. The first is that every cigarette you light up affords you anywhere between six and 12 cool points. This fluctuation depends on brand, but free cool points are free cool points. The second is that it will eventually kill you, but so will breathing and... MORE »
Campus Basement 101: How to Interpret an Article
As the website grows and more people read our articles, it’s come to our attention that lots of people may be asking what the FUCK is this? Which is understandable. I mean, our name suggests drug deals and other illegal activities. But like, are these articles serious shit or did we just pull them out... MORE »