Shortly before President Obama was elected into office the nation was racked with fear that he might be of the Islamic faith. Now, with the 2012 election looming, it appears that Obama’s religion will be questioned once more. What voters need to know, however, is that there are more pressing issues regarding Obama that must be examined.
Not only could Obama potentially be a Muslim radical in disguise, but he might also pee sitting down.
A tipsy Michelle Obama was the first to release this shocking news during one of her many dinners celebrating her war against child obesity. She confided in a friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, that she was worried the stress of presidency and the upcoming election had finally gotten to Barack. When asked why, Michelle reportedly wailed, “I caught him peeing sitting down!”
People from surrounding seats heard the conversation, and the news spread like wildfire.
What does it mean that the President relieves his bladder while sitting down? How will this affect the upcoming election? We asked several people off the streets of Columbia, Missouri for their opinion.
“It means he’s secretly a chick, duh,” said Corey Driver, a student at the University of Missouri, “which is really scary”¦ chicks are scary.”
“Don’t all Muslims pee sitting down?” said Andrew Warrens, a middle-aged man who vocally supported the burning of the Quran during the Florida scandal.
A young woman named Angeline Smith had a different idea. “I think he is doing this on purpose to show his support for gay marriage,” said Smith.
Another citizen became angry when asked whether or not the fact that Obama pees sitting down will affect his vote.
“Being a President is hard okay!” said Jake Winters, a businessman in downtown Columbia. “Sometimes standing up just takes too much effort, you know? Give the guy a break.”
President Obama did not offer a comment. Rumor has it that the next campaign ad will be filmed in a bathroom with the President standing erect beside a urinal.