How To Deliver A Speech At Speaker’s Circle: Science
The entire scientific community held its collective breath last week when the most complete Stegosaurus fossil yet discovered was announced via press release. The press release reported that the nearly complete remains of the 27-foot armored stegosaurid dinosaur were discovered on a kitchen floor in Columbia, MO. “As there was never a precedent for the... MORE »
A dozen or so eager students arrived in the basement of the Medical Sciences Building last night with acoustic guitars and crumpled notebook pages heavy with the ink of fresh poetry. The sudden appearance of knit caps and Chuck Taylor’s amongst the sea of surgical scrubs and face masks surprised the med students, who were... MORE »
The Dept. of Psychology at the University of Missouri has just released the results of a groundbreaking 10-year study conducted by Dr. Bram Wiesel entitled “U MAD BRO, U SEEM MAD: A look at anger in college age populations.” The results indicate that, among the 1,876 students surveyed, over 90% between the ages of 18-22... MORE »
A University of Missouri student reportedly shed thirty pounds of weight, only to put on fifteen pounds of lean muscle in the week preceding spring break. The student, Sean Jensen, is a sophomore at the university. Originally clocking in at 215lbs, Jensen faced ridicule from his fraternity brothers. “Yea, they weren’t very supportive of my... MORE »
Schurz Residence Hall, on the east side of campus, has been under Code Orange quarantine status for over 15 days. Center for Disease Control (CDC) investigators and Mizzou Health officials have recently discovered the pathogen responsible for the outbreak, which at first was believed to be Scabies. “I... MORE »
A satire writer at the University of Missouri announced Monday that he was “too busy” to write a new article. Anthony Dingleberry, a junior at MU, is the head editor and head writer for University Attic, a student-run satire blog. Dingleberry admitted in a press conference that his class and workload were too strenuous to... MORE »
Ever watch the “Asians in the library” video? Well, I wanted to prove that I could be just as cold and heartless as she is, so SUCK ON THAT squirrels. MORE »
The duchess of “getting down on Friday,” who has dictated various Facebook statuses, memes, and poorly crafted mixtapes finally chose which seat she wants to take and drove off in her illegally manned convertible to make way for a new crew of heavily autotuned performers; while this new singing troupe appears old enough to own... MORE »
On April 1, 2012 the Maneater, Mizzou’s primary newspaper, published their annual April Fools Edition. This year’s title: the Carpeteater. After years of doing an April Fools edition, their reign has come to an end with their latest edition of the Carpeteater. Not only did they throw in slurs toward women but managed to insult... MORE »
