Tim Heidecker, one half of the comedy due Tim and Erik, can
no longer contain his deep, throbbing passion for whom he refers to as his lord
and master, Herman Cain. After attempting to earn favor with Cain via twitter,
Heidecker is now looking to gain Cain’s attention with his new EP, Cainthology: Songs in the Key of Cain,
which can best be described as a musical ode to the man who Heidecker believes
should rule not only the United States, but the world. Throughout the nine
songs the EP consist of, Heidecker appears to be lapsing in and out of a
horrific acid trip, as he envisions Cain as both Jesus Christ and Elvis
Presley. Not only does Heidecker feels Cain’s greatness defies the limitations
of one identity, but also the limitations of one musical genre.
The album opens with the rhythmic beats of a tribal drum
that make up the initial track, “Ride the Cain Train.” Following is a quirky
country-esque jam which not-so-subtly links Cain to a raging cocaine habit. The
EP then adopts a more gospel tone, with songs that if listened to in mixed
company could be mistaken for the oxymoron of Christian rock. This gospel slant
alludes to Cain’s own musical artistry, most notably his cover of John Lennon’s
“Imagine,” which includes such profound lyrics as “Imagine there’s no pizza / I couldn’t if I tried
/ Eating only tacos / Or Kentucky Fried.” Heidecker clearly learned from his
The fourth song, “Cain Train Baby,” features former
President Ronald Reagan, Bob Hope, and John Wayne, all of whom plead with
listeners to vote for Cain and “ride the Cain train.”
The next song, “Cain Mutiny,” with its jumpy, digital disco
beat harkens the BeeGees in their youth.
The EP concludes with “Cain Skiffle/King Cain,” which with
its plodding organ and acoustic guitar has the hipster-credibility to be played
in any independent coffee shop, delivering the gospel of Cain in a way that
goes perfectly with a cup of fair-trade black coffee.
After listening to the full twenty-one minutes of the
Cainthology, one finds oneself moved by the message of hope Heidecker has
spread regarding his “lord and master, Herman Cain.” After all, according to
the eight track, “Cain is Able”, “Cain
is able to solve all of the problems in the world.” With a promise like that,
it’s no surprise I’ve already bought my one-way ticket for the Cain train.
Presidential election be damned, Cain is, dare I say it, a maverick who is
hurtling this country towards salvation. Cain’s decision to drop out of the
race was brilliant. After all, who need
to be the president when one is already seen as a god?
The arguably best song of the EP, “My Master, My Master,”
says it best: “It’s not a crime to love the Cain.” And if it was, anyone who
listened to Cainthology: Songs in the Key
of Cain would undoubtedly be guilty.