Hey guys, just got back from doing a psych study and boy do I have a story to tell you. You guys know that building on campus that used to be a hospital, right next to Lafferre Hall; you know, the one right across the street from the Engineering West building?
Well, whatever that building is, it’s totally haunted. I’m serious.
Alright, so I was walking up to that building for some psych study and I see that that
it says “Hospital” in stone on the front of the building. So I’m all like “A converted hospital? I wonder if anyone died here!” But then I totally forgot about it. Like, almost immediately. Super quick.
So anyway, I make my way up to the second floor and the building is, like, ancient. So old. Like, at least from the “60s. So I’m waiting for the guy who runs the study to show up and I almost fell asleep “cuz I was up real late last night watching Ancient Aliens on the History Channel.
Have you guys ever seen Ancient Aliens? It’s on the History Channel. It totally blows my mind. Like, the pyramids, ziggurats, Nazca lines, and Thanksgiving are all the work of aliens. I’m super cereal. I left the TV on all night and when I woke up “How it’s Made’ was on and they were talking about granite. Do you guys know how many things we need granite for? Like, so many things. Probably a million things.
Oh, right, the haunting.
The guy finally shows up and leads me to this creepy room that has a cubicle and a
super old computer in it. Guys. This computer was, like, so old. It was like the computer my Uncle Mike has at his apartment. Have I told you guys about my Uncle Mike? He is, like, so weird. So weird. He has an actual record player. AND he uses it. Have you guys ever seen a record? They hold, like, 10 songs, max! Plus, he, like, brews his own absinthe. Do you guys even know what that is?
Yeah, the haunted place, sorry.
Anyway, so I’m doing this study right? Oh, I can’t tell you what the study entails, sorry. Yeah, the guy was all like “You can’t disclose the study procedure or it could, like, totally mess up our results and stuff,” and I was like “Dude, I have no idea what you’re saying.”
I really had no idea what he was saying. It was at that point I was starting to freak out. I just felt real creepy. Not like a creep feels creepy, but like that feeling you get when you’re in a haunted house. Yeah, that’s the kind of feeling I got: the “I’m in a haunted house’ kind of creepy feeling. So I walked out of there so quickly. It was probably a world record. A world record for walking out of creepy buildings. I’ll check Guinness later.
So, whatever building this is it’s total–WHAT THE EFF IS THAT IN THE WINDOW?? THAT’S RUTHERFORD B. HAYES!! OUR 19TH PRESIDENT!! DO YOU GUYS SEE THAT?????
So after I walked out of there faster than anybody had previously walked out of a haunted building, I turned around to look at the building one last time. Big mistake. I saw the word “Hospital’ in stone on the front of the building. I totally remembered seeing that before. I shuddered, guys. Straight up, shuddered.Like, it wasn’t even cold. Okay, it was a little cold, but definitely not cold enough to make me shudder.
So there’s my story.
What? What do you mean, “Did I actually see anything”??? Weren’t you just listening? I got the creepiest feeling! That place it totes haunted! If that place were a menu item at Taco Bell it’d be a Haunted Gordito Crunch!
Hey. Do you guys want Taco Bell?