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Jake’s Movie Monday: GDI Life
A tale of a God Damn Independent.
Mizzou has always been known for having an immense Greek town. It’s almost a separate island in this small little town of Columbia, MO. Men in Greek life have it easy, drinking in their house, a firm set of bros, women wearing virtually no clothing coming to them and a shoo in for at least... MORE »
A recent study conducted by the University of Missouri revealed a new trend in the business world where companies are making employment decisions based on the clothing that applicants wear. The study, conducted over an eighteen-month period, yielded unexpected results for the researchers. “The most important traits for hiring new employees have pretty much remained... MORE »
Shortly before President Obama was elected into office the nation was racked with fear that he might be of the Islamic faith. Now, with the 2012 election looming, it appears that Obama’s religion will be questioned once more. What voters need to know, however, is that there are more pressing issues regarding Obama that must... MORE »
For the third consecutive season, the University of Missouri softball team blew past the Kansas City Royals, this time by a 9-2 margin. The game was held at Kansas City’s Kauffman Stadium, where a makeshift outfield wall was constructed to bring the distance down from 415 ft. to 225 ft. in order to accommodate the... MORE »
In recent weeks, multiple studies have been published and widely publicized about how Red Meat relates to the mortality rate of those who consume it. The study showed that eating unprocessed Red Meat raised the mortality risk by 13% and processed by 20%. However, yesterday a far more troubling study was released: the mortality rate... MORE »
You are a sadistic pervert. My emotions are not a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll to be touched and toyed with at your will. My life is not a game, but if it was, the rules would be changing, because I’m the fucking game master, kid. And if I read the Hunger Games, here is probably where... MORE »
Note: All basketball players interviewed for this article asked for anonymity for fear of the coach giving them the “stank eye” ““ the most feared of all punishments. After the devastating loss to Oklahoma State this past week, Mizzou fans were at a loss. Mizzou basketball players, meanwhile, were hysterical. And furious. “When the students... MORE »
A University of Missouri student and member of the Delta Kappa Rho sorority was shocked yesterday when she was not nominated for an Academy Award. Julie Anne Drew starred in “Sonata de Truman,” the 1790s-themed production of Delta Kappa Rho, Alpha Sigma Sigma, and Rho Rho Rho. Drew procrastinated her hospitality management homework... MORE »
You gasp for air for a couple seconds, and than he puts you right back in. The toilet water smells like a combination of asparagus piss and sparrow semen. Although, you’re not even that mad about it, and you know why? The man that is shoving your frail head into the toilet, Bobby the Gargoyle.... MORE »
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